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Friday, September 30, 2011

Nothing "Comes out of Nowhere"...

We have fruit flies!  I just about ate one as I was taking a bite of my salad yesterday.  Where did that little bugger come from, anyway?!?  I did a little research and discovered that fruit flies were once thought to appear magically overnight under a theory called “spontaneous generation”.  While it may look that way, they are built to detect, and are attracted to, ripe fruits and vegetables.  Once inside your house, these pesky little insects are persistent and they reproduce and multiply without needing any fruit to do it; and before you know it, you have a full-on fruit fly infestation.  Right about now, you’re wondering why I’m talking about fruit flies and where I’m going with this.  Well, I’m about to tell you that.  Have you ever found yourself smack-dab in the middle of a manifestation (either wanted or unwanted) saying, “this just came out of the blue”!  Well, just like fruit flies don’t have spontaneous generation, neither do your manifestations.  Ripe fruits and vegetables attract fruit flies; your thoughts and feelings attract your manifestations.  Once the fruit attracts the fruit fly, now the fly no longer needs fruit to reproduce; once you think a thought, it’s easier to keep attracting and reproducing more like it. 
I’m going to leave the fruit fly analogy for a second and I’ll come back ‘round to it.  You’re constantly thinking and having emotional responses to those thoughts and you’re often having inner conversations and outer dialogues about what’s going on in your life.  The thoughts that you’re choosing and the conversations that you’re having and the way that you’re feeling are always manifesting in your experience; now and in the future.  So although things may seem to come out of nowhere, nothing ever does.  You have “clues” along the way to your manifestations before they ever happen and if you find yourself wondering how this came about, you can know that you were thinking and feeling in a way that led to what you’re now living.  Your thoughts are always creating a future reality or manifestation, and your emotions are always indicating what sort of manifestation you’re going to experience.  If you’re feeling good, then have at it, keep thinking about the things you’re thinking about in the way that you’re thinking about them and good feeling manifestations are about to follow.  If you’re feeling negative emotion, you can see that as an indicator that manifestations are coming that will feel about the same as you’re feeling now.  So, rather than wait for your reality to reflect your negative train of thought and emotions, you could opt to change your perspective to offer some better feeling thoughts.  But just like the pesky little fruit flies multiply easily once in your house, so do the thoughts that you’re thinking multiply more easily once you’ve thought them.  So if you find yourself on a negative “jag”, it’ll be easiest to keep thinking those types of thoughts.  If you find yourself on a positive “jag”, it’ll be easier to keep thinking those types of thoughts.  So next time you find yourself with fruit flies, or next time you find yourself in the middle of a manifestation thinking or saying, “I didn’t see this coming, this just came right out of the blue”…remember that nothing ever comes out of nowhere…even fruit flies.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Connection First

I dropped Franki off at Gram and Hoppy’s, I put the car in reverse, looked back and saw an empty car seat, and thought, “woo hoo….I have an afternoon to myself.”  Don’t get me wrong….I love being with Franki, she’s the best, but I also like having time to myself.  Just like I wouldn’t want to sit by the pool every day, all day for the rest of my lifetime; or just like I wouldn’t want to sit on the porch and look at the beautiful scenic range of the Appalachian mountains all day every day, I also don’t want to be with Franki all of the time.  I wouldn’t want to eat ice cream for every meal either.  Although I think I might want to do any and all of these things forever and all of the time, soon, my focus would wander and I would feel compelled to do something else.  Variety is part of what makes life interesting and fun.  I used to think that being a mom meant wanting to be with Franki every single minute of every single day.  I’ve heard other moms saying how much they loved being a mom and that they could spend every single minute of every single day with their kids.  Not I.  So, as I took that literally, when I didn’t feel that way, I thought I was falling somewhat short because I didn’t want to be with Franki every single minute of every single day.  But I realized I was asking something short of impossible of myself to want to be with Franki every single minute.  Not being with her is what makes being with her so sweet.  I like pursuing other interests that stimulate me and I like being with people other than Franki.  As much as I love Jack, I don’t want to be with him all of the time either.  It’s fun to get out and mingle with other people and its fun to be interested and stimulated and thrilled with other points of focus.  It makes me a better mom and it makes me a better wife because when I do things for myself, when I fulfill my own desires, I am allowing all of who I am to come together with my family.  My experiences give me more things to talk about, and more happy stories to tell, and I am a more blended being if I am first taking the time to connect with myself.  I connect with myself daily through meditation and by allowing myself to follow inspiration to do the things I love to do, which include being alone, being with Franki, being with Jack, being with others, taking a walk, exercising, writing, coaching, drinking a coffee, going for a drive, hiking, eating something delicious, talking to a friend, watching TV, reading, journaling and so many other things. There are a multitude of ways that I can connect with myself, and I’ve discovered that the more connected I am to myself, the more of myself I can present to my family – I’m happier, livelier, funnier, wittier, smarter, more relaxed, and more fun to be with.  I’m for being with Franki as much as feels good, but first and foremost, I’m for connecting with myself, in whatever ways feel good to me, and being the best mom, wife and friend that I can be as a result of my connection.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

A Wonderful Place to Be

There’s no “right” way or “wrong” way to live.  We all make choices, we all have preferences, and we’re all brought up in different environments.  We all get to choose what would be best for us, and of course, that can change in any moment.  As I move through time, I am more and more accepting and allowing of others….I don’t need people to think the same as I do, and I don’t need people to believe in what I believe or to see the world in the way that I do.  I see that the variety and the diversity is what makes life more interesting and fun and intriguing.  It’s not my job to make anyone see the world as I do, and it’s none of my business, really, what anyone chooses to believe.  We are all free to choose as we want and we are all free to believe as we want and I think that….. makes this world, this time, this space, a wonderful place to be.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Still Giggling

The day I wrote the blog (Vortex of Giggles) about my Uncle Bert and his giggling was the day he decided to croak.  I had no idea…I found out today.  What a sweet moment it was this evening when I found out he had died the exact day I was writing about him.  He couldn’t just laugh for a second; he had to laugh for ten minutes.  What a joy he was to be around, and what a perfect memory I have of him as he decided to transition.  I can only conclude that I was tapped into his Source, his Soul, as I was writing that blog the other day and remembering him in such a beautiful way.  I didn’t see him often, I hadn't seen him in several years, and I really didn’t know him that well, but he touched my life in such a meaningful way that I still remember it.  Every time I saw him, he was giggling and his giggle was infectious.  I can feel him, his energy surrounding me, still giggling, maybe even more than he ever did before….. 

No other way.....

Franki says “cleam up”, rather than “clean up” and she has this face she makes when she’s agreeing with me, and she walks like she’s skipping all the time, happy and free.  She says the word “done”, when she’s done having a display of emotion, and she peeks around the corner and says, “help you, Chris?” when she hears me in the kitchen and the pots or the bowls make noise.  She lays in her crib in the morning, talking to Barney and to Clifford and says, “you’re my favorite”, and she laughs and says “I love you”.  She says, “l’autre foot” (meaning other foot) mixing her French and her English together to say what she means.  She waves hello to people and says thank you when cars stop to let us cross the street.  She’s figured out the I-phone like she was born knowing how to use it.  Yes, I’m a “typical” proud parent who thinks that everything her child does or says is the most amazing thing ever.  Who knew 4 years ago that I would be a mom and so in love with this child, this little being who decided to come forth and do it all again.  I have videos of Franki taking her first steps and eating her baby food and making baby noises and just sitting.  I take pictures every moment I can and have over 3000 pictures of her on my phone…and it’s a new phone.  I never cease to be amazed and impressed by her.  I adore and love her more than I ever thought was possible to love and adore anyone.  Four years ago, I didn’t know that this little girl would be in my life, and when I got pregnant, many of my friends were surprised because they thought I “wasn’t the type’.  And here I am now, proud as can be, just like all parents, a “typical” parent, and I can’t imagine it being any other way

Right in Front of Me

In this high-tech world that we live in, it’s easy to just put your head down and let your thumbs do the talking on your I-phone or your blackberry.   Like I said the other day, I love the FB thing and I love that I can check my emails throughout the day if I’m out, and I love being able to text a quick message from anywhere.  And, I’m also aware that I have these two beautiful eyes constantly observing and mimicking, what I do.  Franki’s already got this I-phone thing down pat.  She picks it up, gives it a swipe and a tap and lets her thumbs do the talking like she was born knowing how this toy works.  So as I’m going about my day, having the ability to be in touch with people anywhere in the world, I’m also mindful of who I’m in touch with in my “right here” world.   While I’ve got my head down and my thumbs going on my I-phone, or talking on the phone, checking my emails, or giving status updates, am I also relating to those people who are right in front of me?  Like the nice lady at the checkout counter at our local grocery store.  Am I waving a “thank you” to the person in the car who just stopped to let us cross the street?  Or thanking someone who has assisted me in some way?  Am I taking a moment to hold the door open for someone who is coming right in behind me?  Am I looking people in the eyes and holding a conversation with them, present to this person right in front of me.  Am I taking the time to smile at someone, or greet them with a compliment?  Technology is great and the ability to stay in touch with people who aren’t right in front of me is wonderful, but there’s also that element of connecting with the world and the people who are right in front of me.  I’m just genuinely friendly and open with people and thanking someone, smiling as I pass by someone, or having a conversation with a total stranger is not uncommon for me and now that I have a daughter, I realize how what I’m doing in almost every moment that she’s with me, is her example of how to be in the world.  Not that she can’t figure it out for herself, and not that she wouldn’t naturally be inclined to be genuine and present to those around her, but who I’m being does influence and shape her.  There are so many people, right here in our immediate surroundings to connect with, as well as our friends who are not in our immediate surroundings.  When a car stops for us to cross the street, Franki stops, waves and says “thank you”!  She’s seen me do it, and now she does it and the person behind the wheel never fails to give a big smile and a chuckle and a wave right back.  Every interaction can be a meaningful one, whether it’s momentary or for longer periods.  And a moment such as crossing the street and waving to the nice person who let us by is meaningful because it feels good.  There are plenty of ways to relate and to have meaningful exchanges these days, and it’s my desire to not only do that by accessing the technology that we have available, but also by noticing what’s right in front of me.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Ride Along the Way

I want a Porsche. A beautiful Porsche 911 Carrera 4S Cabriolet, with 19” Turbo wheels, Meteor Grey Metallic exterior, with Cocoa leather interior.  Cocoa stitching.  Speed yellow gauges.  Power seat package, Bose Digital Surround Sound with 13 speakers, guaranteed to move me.  Ceramic composite brakes.  Automatic Tiptronic S Transmission. All of the details designed to my specifications.  Any time I think about it, it’s pure bliss; I’m excited about it, I can see myself driving this car; I can feel the thrill of driving and owning this car; I can see myself peeking out into the garage every few minutes to just admire it; I can feel how proud I am of this little gem and even though I don’t own this car yet, it feels like a reality to me.  It feels as real to me as if I already own it.  Right now, I drive a 2011 Nissan Altima 3.5 SR, fully loaded, white exterior, tan leather interior.  Is it a Porsche?  No, but every time I get in that car I love it just as much as I love my Porsche.  I don’t feel the longing for the Porsche that I don’t have, I feel appreciation and thrill for the car that I do have.  And the “funny” thing about it is, I never planned on buying a Nissan Altima; as a matter of fact, it was likely the furthest thing from my radar.  I’d been mildly contemplating the idea of a new car for awhile, but hadn’t decided specifically on which one.  Meanwhile, every time I drove by our local Nissan dealer, I always admired their building and their display of vehicles and appreciated how they presented themselves.  When my husband got a rental car while his car needed repairs, he was handed the keys to a Nissan Sentra. The week before he was to return it, I decided to go for a ride with him.  What a nice car!  Although it wasn’t what I wanted, I liked enough things about it that I decided to stop by our local Nissan dealership to see what they had on their lot.  There really was nothing there of interest to me, but I did speak with a salesman, and told him I wasn’t in any hurry, but here’s what I was looking for, in general, and if something came in that he thought I may be interested in, to give me a call.  A few days later, I decided to look online to see what Nissan models they had, and decided that if I were to get a Nissan, I would get a 2011, 4 door Nissan Altima 3.5 SR, white exterior, tan leather interior, fully loaded, sun roof, etc.  But it really was just a passing thought.  I didn’t really think I’d be getting either that sort of car, or even buying a car at all in the near future.  I was driving my Subaru, which needed a lot of work, but I was completely appreciating my Subaru for getting me around and for providing us plenty of space for our little family and our dog, for all the storage space in the back, for the comfort and the ease of driving it, for how well it handled, for the tinted windows and the heated seats and so much more.  It wasn’t a “let me sit down and appreciate this car” kind of thing, it was just that I was happy to have it, and enjoyed so many aspects of it.  Weeks went by without me really thinking about a new car, although I felt one was coming, but it didn’t matter to me, one way or another.  Then, my parents said they’d be stopping by the week after Easter while they were on their way back to Canada from Florida.  As we were visiting Friday night, my father had driven by the Nissan dealership on his way to the Casino and commented how nice it was.  I mentioned that I’d been there looking at cars and had already spoken to a salesman.  So then I suggested we go the next day to look and see what they had.  I figured it would be something for us to do together, just take a look, and it would be fun to include him in something I was considering.  So off we went to the dealership in the morning and while we were there, we must have taken at least 4 vehicles out for a test drive. We had so much fun together and it was fun having my dad in on it.  We told our sales guy we weren’t buying that day, and I had even told my dad that morning that I wouldn’t be buying anything, but why not go just for fun.  So as the day progressed, the last car I took out, I decided to ask about what type of pricing etc would be available.  I let dad do most of the talking because he’s what one would call a “wheeler and dealer”.  He’s been a salesman all his life and he likes to deal and he likes to talk and he likes to have fun and he always wants the best deal, and expects it.  So, I let him do the talking.  And what a joy it was to see him in his element, and by the end of the day, he had the manager of the dealership asking my father for his address so he could come fishing in Canada.  Anyway, we left, without buying a car, but what fun we’d had.  Then, just as we were making our last turn to get home, I remembered the manager mentioning in passing that this lady had just traded in a new 2011 Nissan fully-loaded Altima, because there were too many “bells and whistles” on it.  So I turned to my dad and said, “you know, we really should’ve taken that car out for a drive before we left…just for kicks”.   My father looked at me with this devilish smile and said, “let’s go back!”.  So, we turned around and went back and when we walked in to the dealership, I think they thought we’d come to buy the other vehicle that we’d gotten a price for.  When the manager had mentioned the 2011 Altima in passing, I didn’t think much about it because we had taken some base model Altimas out for a drive earlier that day and they weren’t a “hell yes” for me.  The nice thing about all of these test drives was that the salesman had actually let my father and I go off on our own without coming with us.  So off we went for another test drive, and as I was rounding a corner, my father looked at me and said, “you like this car, don’t you?”  I didn’t realize it, but I had this huge grin on my face, and when I think back, when I sat in it, I just felt it all “click”.  This felt like the right car for me, right now.  And so, much to their surprise, we walked in, and my father did the talking once again.  This car was quite a find….a 2011 with only 2000 miles, fully-loaded.  And, the EXACT car that I had decided I wanted…. “if” I was to buy one.  I still left the dealership without buying it, but I did return a few days later to seal the deal.  So now, every time I get in that car, it brings back sweet memories of my father and I doing something together, having fun, seeing him in his element.  I didn’t get the Porsche, but it doesn’t matter because I am as thrilled about having this car as I would be if I’d gotten the Porsche.  And the ease of it all coming about…I didn’t “plan” any of it.  I knew what I wanted, and had “criteria” about the specifics, but I wasn’t hung up on it, nor did I need it to unfold in any particular way, in any particular time frame.  It just all worked out in a way that was even more perfect than I could have imagined.  As a matter of fact, I would have never imagined this particular scenario, but it couldn’t have unfolded in a more perfect way.  I’m sharing this story because of the perfection with which things can unfold when you just let go.  There was a time when I wanted that Porsche really badly, and I didn’t get it and I was disappointed that “things weren’t working out for me”.  But all along, they really were, and they always are.  I haven’t let go of my desire for my Porsche, but it doesn’t matter to me that I don’t have it.  This car that I have is just as good and as satisfying to me as if I were driving my Porsche right now.  And I felt like I was driving my Porsche when I was driving my Subaru.  And when the Porsche comes, it will be sweet, and satisfying, and thrilling and fun, but I’m not going to deprive myself of feeling the sweetness and satisfaction and thrill that I think the Porsche will give me until I actually have the keys to it.  I can, and I do, feel that now.  There is so much to enjoy on my way to my Porsche, that I don’t have to have it right now.  The ride along the way can continually unfold in ways that surprise and delight and thrill me and I can revel in the perfection of it all. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Vortex of Giggles

Jack laughs his ass off at physical comedy.  Like the scene in Hitch, when Will Smith is teaching Alfred Brennamen how to dance and Alfred busts a move in every which way he’s not “supposed” to.  I like the physical humor, but I tend to prefer either the “clever” humor or the really silly humor from movies like “Airplane”.  “My name’s not Shirley” (for those of you who have seen the movie).  I think I’m pretty funny myself…I laugh at my own jokes and my own antics constantly…there’s really no other entertainment required for me.  I’m entertainment enough.  Whatever type of humor you’re into, even if it’s yourself, doesn’t it feel good to laugh?  Doesn’t it feel good to have that element of surprise to find yourself having a good ole’ belly laugh?  Or laughing so hard you just can’t stop?  I laugh when other people laugh.  I remember when our family was together and my uncle Bert would started to giggle about something.  He had this giggle about him that just made me giggle.  When he giggled, his whole body would shake, and his face would light up, his ears would lift, his eyes would squint and the corners of his mouth would curl up so high, I just couldn’t help but be sucked into his vortex of giggles.  So he would giggle, which got me started, which then made him giggle even more, which then made me giggle even more to the point where we were both uncontrollably giggling.  It makes me giggle just to think about it.  And I don’t know about your family, but I was brought up with three brothers who all liked bathroom humor.  It became a bonding experience for our family.  So, to this day, there’s hardly anything funnier to me than a good ole’ toot, and now of course (because Franki mirrors my behavior) Franki thinks that’s funny too.  I have “The Poopie List” framed and hung on the wall in our bathroom and the first time my father read it, he laughed so hard he cried…and tooted.  What a perfect moment in time…..bonding over “The Poopie List” and then bonding over something we’d always laughed at…my father’s toots.  Whatever you find funny, whatever your sense of humor is, find ways to access it as often as you can, and go…… go get sucked into a vortex of uncontrollable giggles.  ;)