A Love Letter to All of You

This past weekend I had the pleasure of being with an outstanding group of creatives, innovators, thought leaders and radiant people.  We played, we hiked, we engaged with each other.

What I’ve expressed below is inspired through these people, our gathering, and the time we had together.

  

I stand amongst you beautiful human souls

Of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds.

And I love you. 

Instantly.

I want nothing from you.

Your presence is enough.

And I love you.

All I see is your beauty. 

I bask.

And I love you.

I look into your eyes, into the depths of your soul.

It’s not demons that I see.

Only magnificence.

The raw truth of who you are.

And I love you.

What you perceive as flaws, shames or defeat,

Are what makes you beautiful – beauty marks…power lines.

And I love you.

The shadows behind your eyes appear to me as sparkling lights.

I see you.

And I love you.

Your accomplishments are stunning, impressive and fascinating.

And I celebrate with you, but not for the reasons you think…

They tell me about you, about the depths of your desires and what you care about.

And I love you.

When you’re rude, or short with me,

I love you.

When you lash out with words,

Or ignore me with your silence,

I love you.

When you tantrum and shout,

I love you.

There’s nothing you can tell me about yourself that I will not love.

I love you.

Let your walls fall.

Melt away your guardedness.

I love you.

I understand where you’ve been.

I know where you’re going.

I see your beauty and your depth.

I love you.

We look into each other’s eyes and dance with our souls.

We play, along our road to discovery of each other.

We are not so different, but same.

I love you.

Receive this love that I have for you.

Bask in it.

Bathe in your rightness.

I love you.

Breathe it in until you feel the depths of my appreciation for you,

Accept your perfection,

And the love I have for you for being exactly as you are.

I love you.

You…are remarkable.

And I love you.

This is my fourth post as part of the #braveblogging project from Makenessmedia.com

The Universe Does not Speak Squeak

“Can you bring me my milk”?  Franki asks as I’m doing dinner prep.  I respond with, “soon honey”.  A few minutes and what feels like seconds later she inquires, “Can you please bring me my milk”?  (She thinks that by saying please that’ll speed up the process.  I reply with, “soon honey”.  And since apparently I was taking too long to bring her some milk please, she said, “but I said, “please”.  My last response to her was, “I heard you the first time, luv”.

Now imagine that you’re the one repeatedly asking the question, “can you bring me (fill-in-the-blank-for-that-thing-you-want)”, and the Universe is the one responding with, “I heard you the first time, luv”.

The very first time you ask, the Universe, whether you know it or not, says, “yes”!  You don’t ever need to check again to see if your milk’s been delivered.  It’s on its way.   You don’t need to ask again or add “please” just to cover your ass and make nice.

The Universe doesn’t care if you say please, beg, plead, need, or say wham-bam-thank-you-mam.

You could use every sweet word you like, but if you feel impatient, irritated or even discouraged because your milk hasn’t shown up, what you really mean is, “when will my milk come? I guess I don't deserve it".  Or,
"where the hell is my milk?!?  Somebody should get on that right now.  Where’s my milk?  My milk isn’t here. It's not here.  I need my milk and it's not here! What’s taking so looooooong”?

The more you plead, beg, squeal, screech, yelp, peep, the more you repel the very thing(s) you say you want because what you mean is more about noticing what you haven’t got yet, so the Universe responds to that.

The Universe responds to what you mean, not to the words you use.

Which means, if you pay attention to how you feel when you use your words, you’ll know what you mean.

You can’t cover up with words how you really feel.

If that’s what you really mean, that’s what the Universe responds to, and that's what you keep getting...no matter how badly you want or need something or anything.

And if you wake up every morning to check if it’s happened yet,  remind the Universe about what you said you wanted, or whine louder for it your actions are also backing up what you mean.

The Universe does not speak squeak.

When you doubt, worry, complain, feel impatient, or when you criticize those who have the thing you want, you assure the absence of what you want because you're doing the opposite of expecting it.

You expect your head to be right where you last left it, don't you?  Or do you need to keep checking?  Do you keep asking for it to be where you want it?  You don't worry that it won't be there tomorrow morning when you wake up, do you?

So if there's something you want that isn't coming pay attention to your propensity of thoughts around it.  How do they feel when you think them? Can you find a way to feel better - worry less, doubt less, feel slightly more hopeful? Can you distract yourself from your awareness of the absence of something you want so that you notice less that's it's not there?

All of your requests are received.  What you want is already in-the-works.  It's done. Your head is on, your milk is ready to drink.

All that’s left to complete the picture is for you to expect it.

"I heard you the first time, luv".

The Story of the Almond Butter

I twisted open the lid on the jar and the almond butter heaved as if releasing a sigh, relieved to be opened.  I’m sure it wanted to cry tears of joy, it was so happy.

I just made that story up in my own little head.  It’s what I observed, and proceeded to create a little twist of a story around, yes, a jar of almond butter.

While that was harmless and mildly amusing, I’m sharing it to make a point about the stories we tell, the elaborations we make, and the details we add that must just be “true” as we sift through the creations of our lives through the perspectives that we hold. 

How often do you just make shit like that up?  Weave a story around what someone said, or around their behavior toward you or someone else.  You make stories up about rightness and wrongness and what they must be thinking or feeling, or why they’re not doing what you want them to do, or why they’re doing what you don’t want them to.  You add personality traits in there and throw in a few expletives and end it all with an exclamation point.  Or maybe a question mark.

You look for agreement, you look for rightness, you look for justification and validation.  You look for some sense of why you have no money in the bank or why someone didn’t call you back or why they responded in the way that they did.

You may be right and you may be justified and everyone you talk to may agree with you.  In fact, you’ll likely find people who have similar stories to tell.  Your perspective is valid…for sure…but the question is, do you want to keep telling that or those stories therefore endlessly perpetuating how you feel about those things or people you’re telling stories about? 

Because the stories you tell - truth, fact, or fiction, affect you right now.  Whether what you’re talking or thinking about is your “actual” reality or is what happened recently or in times past; how you tell your story and what you tell is creating your present and laying ground for things to come. 

You don’t have to downright tell fibs about what happened or what-is, and you certainly don’t have to cover up how you really feel.  But…. It would serve you well to make a decision that you’re going to at least give-a-go at telling a story that at the very least, leans you into a softer or better-feeling place. 

Your stories don’t have to be static...you're making them up.  You have creative control.  Stories can and do evolve and become and change into different ones. 

You tell stories all day long…about everything. 

My kids are… (cooperative, lovely, monsters, irritating)

My job is…(awesome, it sucks, I hate it, the best ever)

My childhood was…(happy, downright shitty, playful)

My employees are…(great people, brilliant, trustworth, unreliable, annoying)

I feel guilty because…(I’m not always patient with my kids, I don’t call my family)

The government is…(doing the best that it can with what it’s got, trying to control us, horrible)

No one understands…(me, us, them, what I want)

I feel ….(insert here a way you consistently feel the same way about something because you keep telling the same story about it)

Things happen.  You live through stuff.  You move through time.  You learn, you expand. Maybe what-was is what-was, but you do get to reach for a different perspective about it, and when you do, that different perspective lets you form new stories. 

The stories you tell keep a perspective active within you, which means if it’s active within you, you’ll gather more stories that feel similar to that.  If the stories you tell feel good and rewarding and life-giving, keep telling them and improving them.  The lengths of which you can feel good are endless.  If the stories you tell evoke blame, anger, resentment, righteousness, guilt,…you get the picture…you could decide if this is what you want to keep weaving.  So either stop telling it completely, tell it less, or, just make it feel a wee-bit better than the version you’re used to.

It’s going to feel awkward and you may feel compelled to add details that justify your version.  Try, at least try…not to do that.  Do something different and tell a whole other story about something else instead.  Or go to sleep. 

Why?  For your benefit.  When you hold someone else responsible for the way you feel, you don’t use the power you were born with.  When you feel however you feel, take the credit.  It’s much more powerful that way because you can do something about how you feel.  You often can’t do anything about what someone else is doing or saying. 

Tell the story of your life that you want to live.  Tell the stories that feel good.  The stories that don’t feel good, tell less often and over time, you’ll be less inclined to tell them at all.  Tell stories about almond butter, and tell stories about your kids that enhance your sense of well-being and love.  Tell stories of what you want to create and live vs. what you’ve got that you don’t like. 

You’re going to tell stories; we all do, all day long.  Decide to sift through your book of stories and pluck out the best feeling ones and keep telling them until you find yourself having more and more good stories to tell.  

And in the interim, tell harmless stories about almond butter. 

Your life changes according to the stories you tell, almond butter and all.  

This is part of the #braveblogging project from makenessmedia.com.  No gimmicks, no upsells, no tactics.  

How Big Is Your Brave?

Has there ever been a time when you didn’t say what you wanted to say?  Are there times when you’ve refrained from expressing what was in your heart and meaningful to you?  Are there times when you don’t write the blog you really want to write?

We all have internal voices that sometimes scream louder than our next door neighbor.  They might sound something like this:

It’s not important

It’s going to push too many buttons and I want to keep the peace

Who cares about what I have to say

Lots of other people have said the same thing

But my blog isn’t about this subject

My website is about something different

I don’t want other people’s opinions

It’s too complicated

No one will understand

It’s not relatable

I’m not good enough

What will other people think

…feel free to add to this list.  There’s a familiar space in your head that these voices reside in and they can contradict what you really want to say and do until you decide to start shifting your perspective about what you want to express in whatever your inspired way of expression is.

It started months ago when I noticed that I wasn’t writing.  I really wanted to but… I really wanted to, but…

I was putting other things ahead of my writing and finding reasons not to do the very thing that I really wanted to do. 

Why? 

Because I was opposing my desire to share my deepest ideas with thoughts that ring the tone of the ones I noted above.  And, I also believe that my ideas are not always mainstream, which at times keeps me from expressing them unless you’re asking.

Then, Illana Burk of Makeness Media landed in my inbox appealing to my desire to write with her latest, “The Bravery Blogging Project”. 

She’s challenging herself and other bloggers for the next six weeks to get our ideas out; to create and publish “real, original, difficult content”.  To share what we’re not seeing others teach, our real-life stories and our unique perspectives.

And as Illana suggests, “our clients hear our best and most brilliant ideas and it’s time to get them out”.

What I’ve realized because of her call to the Bravery Blogging Project is that as I continue to refrain from expressing my ideas, I’m not serving those that I could help.  If only one person gets something out of a perspective I’ve offered, that’s got to be good enough.  Not only that, but if *I* get something in terms of feeling fulfilled, satisfied or expressed through writing, my writing has served a really good purpose.  It reminds me why I started writing in the first place.  It’s never been about the “likes” or the followers for me, although it brings me much pleasure when I know someone’s enjoyed what I’ve written.

For me, writing is personal.  And when someone disagrees with my point of view, it can muddy up the waters.  Because my expression was never meant to be a challenge to, or disagreement, with someone’s beliefs.  It’s an opinion; a suggestion to think about and simply that….

I thrive on offering perspective that puts the power back in your hands.

What I know for sure is that when I write for my clients, I write clearly.  I write what I know.  When I write for a broader audience, I’m aware of wanting to please too many people and make my words more palatable to the majority. 

Kept on the inside, my shadow wins and I refrain from expressing what I know.

I’m accepting Illana’s challenge and joining the “.  I challenge you to join in if you’re a writer, or want to be one. 

The Bravery Blogging Project

Illana’s project has inspired my challenge you:

“Say what you mean and mean what you say”

– when you think, when you speak, when you write.  Say it with integrity and alignment with who you are.  And be proud of your opinions.

You can start speaking up. 

I want to know how big your brave is.  Feel it.  Speak it.  Be it.

Stop your tongue holding.  Tell your truth – whatever it is.

The cage you live in with your truths is one imposed by you, on you.

…how big is your brave?  

43 Leading Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day to Live a Better Life (and a few other tips)

My intention for sharing these questions with you are to guide you toward feeling better and having more experiences that you want. Why are questions important? Because you always receive answers and the quality of your questions will determine the trail of answers that you receive.  If you’re asking troubling questions or if you’re asking questions that consistently don’t feel good to you, you’re forging a path to more that doesn’t feel good and to more troubling questions to be asked. 

You can be focused on possibility and opportunity or you can be focused on lack and limitations.  The essence of your questions determines what flows in.

We can all get caught up in asking the questions that don’t feel good; those that keep us focused on things that we perceive as going wrong, or that feel off.  When we do that, more that feels wrong or unjust keeps being in our experience.

I’ve compiled a list of 43 leading questions that you can ask yourself every day that lean you to answers you’re going to like.  Ask them.  Every day.  

Ask them most when you're already feeling good and not when you're focused on something that's seemingly not working out for you. 

Otherwise, they'll just piss you off.  

Write them out.  Don’t demand answers right away.  If nothing changes, keep asking them.  Give it time.  Give yourself time to adjust to where these questions are leading you.  Let the answers be revealed to you. 

Print them out.  Look at them.  Read them.  Ask them of yourself and others. 

  

·         How much fun can I have?

·         How flexible can I be?

·         How much can I be surprised and delighted now, now, now, now, now?

·         How good can I feel?

·         How easy can it be?

·         How much can I allow?

·         How much love can I feel?

·         How much appreciation can I feel?

·         How good can it get?

·         How playful can I be?

·         How abundant can I feel?

·         How roarsome can I feel?

·         How much roarsomeness can I allow?

·         How much abundance can I allow?

·         How proud can I feel?

·         How delighted can I be?

·         How excited can I feel?

·         How eager can I feel?

·         How in-love can I feel?

·         How fascinated can I feel?

·         How interested can I feel?

·         How much pleasure can I feel?

·         How much can I revel?

·         How rewarded can I feel?

·         How much can I feel Source right here with me?

·         How much goodness can I allow?

·         How much fun can I bring to today’s party?

·         How much joy can I feel?

·         How happy can I feel?

·         How much well-being can I allow?

·         How much well-being can I feel?

·         How taken-care-of can I feel?

·         How special can I feel?

·         How embraced can I feel?

·         How generous can I feel?

·         How eager can I feel?

·         How invincible can I feel?

·         How much clarity can I allow?

·         How knowing can I feel?

·         How much positive expectation can I feel?

·         How much beauty can I see and feel?

·         How much better can it get?

·         How much better can I let it be?

In addition to asking yourself these questions, here are some things you can do every day, in terms of directing and leaning your mood and attitude.  

Why does this matter?  

Because your mood and attitude determine the quality of your life.  

Your mood and attitude affect your perspective and your perspective is everything.  

Your perspective is your point of attraction.  

Your perspective is what you’re living.  

Do you need more reasons than that?!? ;)

Do these things every day:

·         Look for points of harmony vs. disharmony or wrongness

·         Look for pros vs. cons

·         Look for benefits vs. detriments

·         Look for positive aspects vs. negative aspects

·         Look for ways to appreciate vs. ways to criticize

·         Look for likes vs. dislikes

·         Look for ways to make the best of it vs. ways to make the worst of it

·         Look for well-being and wellness vs. sickness and deterioration

·         Look for what’s right vs. what’s wrong

·         Look for what’s going well vs. what might be going “wrong”

·         Look for what feels good vs. what feels off, or wrong or bad

·         Look for reasons to appreciate vs. reasons to complain

·         Look for reasons to love vs. reasons to hate

·         Look for reasons to compliment and praise vs. reasons to disparage and insult 

·         Look for reasons to make peace vs. writhe against

·         Look for reasons to be willing vs. unwilling

·         Look for reasons to be flexible vs. rigid

Add to these, play with these.  At first, if you’re not accustomed to directing your focus in these ways, it’ll feel hard.  It just gets easier…learning to direct your focus because of how it feels may be a new thing for you.  It’s not any different than learning a new language, or learning how to use a new computer program, or learning how to play a sport you’ve never played.  It takes practice.  It takes wanting to do it.  It takes desire for more and desire to learn it and apply it.

Let it become your new habit.  

Horrendous or Fun?

It’s a beautiful morning.  The sun isn’t up yet, but I’m seeing in my mind’s eye what the landscape looks like because I’ve driven this road often lately.  I know that the leaves are brilliant hues of orange and rust and red.  I know that the view in the “gap” as it’s referred to, is breathtaking, even though I’m not seeing it right now.  I feel alive and in-tune.  I’m listening to something uplifting as I drive with my thoughts.  I’m loving how the drivers on the road are responsive and moving out of my path in perfect time.  I’m really enjoying the thrill of driving a little faster this morning.  Tucker, our dog, is resting peacefully in the back seat. 

 In front of me, Jack and Franki are on their way as well.  We’re all going to Franki’s school for a Halloween parade.  Behind me, someone is following us to the school.  We have a little motorcade going to see 12 pre-schoolers dressed up in their costumes, individually expressing their little personalities.  I’m eager, I’m excited, I’m content, I’m enjoying myself very much.

Upon our arrival at Franki’s school, my perspective is intact.  This was fun!   As we all got out of our respective vehicles, the person who’d been following us expressed to Jack, “that drive was horrendous!”

Same drive.  Same flow of traffic.  Same road.  Same scenery.  Same houses.  ….very different perceived realities.

We can’t all see the world through the same eyes or from the same perspective. 

The habit of thought that you practice most frequently will interpret the world that you see and how you feel about it. 

How you feel is always reflected in the way that you see.

Perspective is everything.  And what you practice thinking about in the way that you think about it, skews your perspective and establishes expectations and beliefs within you.  You’ll interpret your experience through that habit of thought, and the reality that you experience through that perspective will be how it seems to you.  The same world, the same view, is experienced differently, depending on the perspective that you hold.  In fact, you and someone else won’t see exactly the same thing or have the same experience because your perspective will draw you toward seeing and experiencing those things that match your perspective. 

We’re all living in different realities.  There are as many realities as there are people in this world.  We’re not supposed to have the same realities. But isn’t it nice that you get to perceive, and therefore experience your reality just the way you want to?  Isn’t it nice that someone else’s reality of horrendous doesn’t have to be mine or yours?

So many times people get caught up in trying to convince others that their reality is the right one or the better one.  What if, you just let people interpret their reality in the way that they do, while you go ahead and choose your preferred reality, no matter what someone else’s is? 

Which is it?  Horrendous, or fun and thrilling? 

You’re the perceiver and the interpreter of it all; you get to choose and although you can’t perceive much differently from your practiced habit of thought, you can begin establishing your new habit of thought by leaning it toward your desired reality. 

What Does it Matter?

Not everyone cares as much as I do about how we create our realities.  Not everyone wants to know the intricate details about it.  In fact, it’s just not that interesting to most or even relatable. 

For as long as I remember, I’ve been eagerly curious about exploring the depths and breadths of creation and energy and how it relates to relationships, who we are, why we are here and how to live a good life.

I live it. Breathe it. Apply it. Explore it.  It’s a part of me.  My desire to know is strong.  

I can’t not follow through on this discovery process. 

I can’t hold back.

I do it because it matters to me. 

And that’s why it matters. 

Because it matters to me.

Do what matters to you. 

Not to everyone else. 

Do what matters to you.