Horrendous or Fun?

It’s a beautiful morning.  The sun isn’t up yet, but I’m seeing in my mind’s eye what the landscape looks like because I’ve driven this road often lately.  I know that the leaves are brilliant hues of orange and rust and red.  I know that the view in the “gap” as it’s referred to, is breathtaking, even though I’m not seeing it right now.  I feel alive and in-tune.  I’m listening to something uplifting as I drive with my thoughts.  I’m loving how the drivers on the road are responsive and moving out of my path in perfect time.  I’m really enjoying the thrill of driving a little faster this morning.  Tucker, our dog, is resting peacefully in the back seat. 

 In front of me, Jack and Franki are on their way as well.  We’re all going to Franki’s school for a Halloween parade.  Behind me, someone is following us to the school.  We have a little motorcade going to see 12 pre-schoolers dressed up in their costumes, individually expressing their little personalities.  I’m eager, I’m excited, I’m content, I’m enjoying myself very much.

Upon our arrival at Franki’s school, my perspective is intact.  This was fun!   As we all got out of our respective vehicles, the person who’d been following us expressed to Jack, “that drive was horrendous!”

Same drive.  Same flow of traffic.  Same road.  Same scenery.  Same houses.  ….very different perceived realities.

We can’t all see the world through the same eyes or from the same perspective. 

The habit of thought that you practice most frequently will interpret the world that you see and how you feel about it. 

How you feel is always reflected in the way that you see.

Perspective is everything.  And what you practice thinking about in the way that you think about it, skews your perspective and establishes expectations and beliefs within you.  You’ll interpret your experience through that habit of thought, and the reality that you experience through that perspective will be how it seems to you.  The same world, the same view, is experienced differently, depending on the perspective that you hold.  In fact, you and someone else won’t see exactly the same thing or have the same experience because your perspective will draw you toward seeing and experiencing those things that match your perspective. 

We’re all living in different realities.  There are as many realities as there are people in this world.  We’re not supposed to have the same realities. But isn’t it nice that you get to perceive, and therefore experience your reality just the way you want to?  Isn’t it nice that someone else’s reality of horrendous doesn’t have to be mine or yours?

So many times people get caught up in trying to convince others that their reality is the right one or the better one.  What if, you just let people interpret their reality in the way that they do, while you go ahead and choose your preferred reality, no matter what someone else’s is? 

Which is it?  Horrendous, or fun and thrilling? 

You’re the perceiver and the interpreter of it all; you get to choose and although you can’t perceive much differently from your practiced habit of thought, you can begin establishing your new habit of thought by leaning it toward your desired reality. 

What Does it Matter?

Not everyone cares as much as I do about how we create our realities.  Not everyone wants to know the intricate details about it.  In fact, it’s just not that interesting to most or even relatable. 

For as long as I remember, I’ve been eagerly curious about exploring the depths and breadths of creation and energy and how it relates to relationships, who we are, why we are here and how to live a good life.

I live it. Breathe it. Apply it. Explore it.  It’s a part of me.  My desire to know is strong.  

I can’t not follow through on this discovery process. 

I can’t hold back.

I do it because it matters to me. 

And that’s why it matters. 

Because it matters to me.

Do what matters to you. 

Not to everyone else. 

Do what matters to you. 

On the Flip Side of "No" is "Yes"

There are toys scattered all over the floor of the t.v. room and I ask Franki if she’ll help me pick them up….please.  She replies with a firm, “no, I don’t want to.” 

Huh….what now?  Conundrum underway. 

What’s the solution and what’s the opportunity presenting itself?  Am I going to pick those toys up?  Do I make her do it regardless of her desire?  Do I make her do it to support the illusion that I’m in charge?  Do I make her do it because it’s the appropriate thing to do? 

Or…maybe I take a toy away until she understands that if she doesn’t do what I want her to do, there are consequences?  Do I try to make a four year old understand that cleaning up after herself is a nice and responsible thing to do?  Do I stand back as she does what she prefers, and instead, I pick up the toys?  Do I leave the toys?  Do I get mad and irritated because she’s not doing what I think she should do in the moment that I want her to do it?  Do I strike a deal with her?

Do I scold her for saying NO?

So many solutions!  I can take an opinion that she’s defying me, or I can choose to see that she’s establishing her independence and her ability to choose what she wants to do.  Which feels better?

Do I have to have the toys cleaned up right now?  Do I want my parenting to be sourced from inspiration and alignment or from a place of resisting what-is?  Do I want my child’s actions to be inspired from her desire or to be motivated from a place to avoid negative consequences?

In Franki’s world, toys all over the floor are a perfect scenario.  More fun.  In her world, rubbing an ice cream cone down the glass of the patio door to leave ice cream behind for the dog to lick it, is a perfect solution.  Do you think I’ll convince her of my wise ways ever-so-soon?

I believe we both get to have what we want while satisfying our intentions and desires.

I believe that the timing of my request can coincide with the timing of her inspiration.

I want her to say NO.  Saying no is a skill that many of us have had to learn.  Some of us may have been scolded by our own parents when we said no.  As she goes out into the world, as people ask things from her, as she explores relationships with peers, and society in general, the ability to say “no” and align fully and completely with it, will serve her.

Sometimes, I won’t like it.  In fact, when I ask her to help me pick up her toys, I don’t acclimate to her response immediately, but then I remember that I want her to exercise her ability to say no; what better place to practice that than when she’s home; in an environment she knows; in an environment that is nurturing; in an environment that encourages her to be who she is in the moment; in an environment that encourages her to reach for her alignment with what she prefers vs. pushing against what she doesn’t want.

 If she can say “no”, she can also say “yes”.  What she is told not to do, she’ll want to do.  The more I make it okay for her to say “no” the more she’ll come to recognize that she doesn’t have to say no to what she doesn’t want, but rather, she can confidently say “yes” to what she does want. 

 

Just Another Day or...The Best Day of My Life?

A few weeks ago, Franki and I were in the car and the name of a song was displayed on my monitor.  The title of it was, “Just Another Day”.  Without listening to the song, the title of it had me pursuing a trail of thoughts about what “just another day” means to me. 

 Did it mean, “oh, hum, just another day?”  Or, did it mean, “just another day in a lifetime full of awesome days?”  Just another day as in, “every day is a revelation full of awesomeness, so this is just another one of those.” 

Is my expectation of things always going well; is my expectation of discovery; is my expectation of flow and ease so stable and sure that “just another day” represents to me the probability of another day just like yesterday – which means a day sprinkled and filled with good-feeling moments and rendezvous with inspiration and creativity, satisfaction and pride, contentment and bliss, life flowing to me and through me, desire expanding and variety always present?

Right on the heels of “Just Another Day”, “The Best Day of My Life” was the very next song to be displayed. 

I chuckled because it matched perfectly what I was contemplating.

That led me to explore what “The Best Day of My Life” means to me.  What that means to me is having moments of joy and moments of bliss, and moments of pride and moments of thrill and excitement.  It means having moments of creative juices flowing, moments of ease and moments of variety.  It means a day filled with moments of appreciation and awe and wonderment.  It means a day sprinkled with moments of fascination and fun.  “The Best Day of My Life” represents to me a day-filled with rendezvous of good-feeling moments, not necessarily specifically defined by me in advance, but felt in advance and in the moments of it playing out.  It means to me an overall expectation of things going well, and the ability to choose throughout my day which perspective feels better as I revel in the perfection of my moments, my day, my life. 

All I’ve got is now.  I don’t have yesterday and I don’t have tomorrow.  I don’t even have 5 minutes from now because I perceive and feel now. 

My conclusion? “Just Another Day” and “The Best Day of My Life” are synonymous.  Today is just another day, and today is also “The Best Day of My Life” because I define just another day in the same way as I would describe what I believe the best day of my life to be.  The essence of both is identical.   

Now it’s your turn….what does it mean to you?