Variety

So, since I'm on this cloud thing....I don't know about you, but I've gone to California and stayed there months at a time, and to tell you the truth, I kind of got tired of just having blue skies...every single day, it was sunny and hot in the area I was exploring.  Although sunny and hot is a fabulous thing, sunny and hot got kind of boring.  I like variety.  I like the rain, I like the clouds, I like the contrast of seasons and I enjoy something about all of it...but I don't want it to be the same thing endlessly every day.  I like it when it's sunny, I like it when it rains, I like it when it's sunny and partly cloudy, I like it when it snows, I like it when it's warm, I like it when it's cooler, I like the fall smells and colors...I could go on about the things I like, and certainly, I have preferences such as, I prefer fresh, crisp air as opposed to humid and sticky....But!..... having some of what I don't want (or prefer less) makes me appreciate even more what I do like or want.  There's nothing like having the sun come out after a few days of rain.  Or there's nothing like breathing the fresh, crisp air after having a few days of humidity.  And, even when it's raining, or even when it's humid, there are plenty of things within that, that I appreciate.... like, I'm happy I can be inside, I'm happy there's air conditioning, I love the sound of the rain, I love my fan above my bed that keeps the air flowing....whatever the "condition" is, I can always find something within it to appreciate and even though, like I said, I have preferences, I really wouldn't want it to be what I prefer all of the time.  So my point is....In life, there are what you might consider more sunny situations, and more cloudy situations and more stormy situations and more "heavy/humid" situations...all kinds of situations, but don't you like the variety of it all?  Don't you like that you have opportunities every day to decide what you prefer and yet appreciate that the situation you're currently looking at, or the situation that you're currently "in" made you decide that you would prefer something else?  Would it be really all that much fun if there were only sunny days?  Or rainy days?  Or snowy days?  Or foggy days?  Whatever your preference is...you may think that you'd like it to just be sunny all of the time, but I wonder if you'd get bored and want a change...even for just a day.  Would you find yourself saying, "I'd like some rain", or even, "I think I'm going to stay inside today" even if its a sunny day.  I think that you might find that you really do want variety.  You really do want some of this and some of that...maybe a little more of this than of that, but even when you're experiencing that, you could just appreciate it because it makes you appreciate this even more.

Blue Sky, or Clouds?

As I was driving the other day, I looked up and saw a beautiful, clear blue sky.  The beauty of the color and the clearness of the sky struck me.  Then, I turned a corner and looked up to see clouds in the sky; big, fluffy white ones that look like cotton balls.  There were all sorts of them, all different shapes and sizes and I'm sure if I hadn't been driving, I would've looked to see what sorts of animal shapes I could find within them.  I was surprised to see the clouds because as I'd been driving in the other direction the sky was so clear, but I wasn't annoyed or afraid or disappointed that the clouds were there when I saw them...I was more interested in the clouds.  Which then brought me to the thought about perspective.  One direction in which I was driving, I perceived the sky as being very clear and very blue.  As I turned and faced another direction, the sky was blue and cluttered with clouds.  It was all the same sky, but the direction in which I was facing gave me a different perspective. I'd just had a discussion with a client about a problem she was perceiving and that's why this clear blue sky/cloud thing stood out for me.  I thought if we all could just see what we perceive as "problems" or "issues" in our lives as those big, fluffy white clouds in the sky, maybe we wouldn't take them so seriously.  There's always a way to see things from a different perspective and the "clouds" are always going to be passing through, and depending on which way you're facing, you're either going to see more, or less of them.  But what if, when you do see them, you look at them with interest or fascination and wonder of what wonderful shapes they hold rather than wishing they weren't there?  Clouds can hold such beauty within them...have you ever just sat and looked at the clouds?    
Just like you know the clouds will pass through, so do problems, and the more interest you hold with what wonderful things they have in store for you, or the more you perceive the blue skies ahead of you, the more quickly those things you perceive as problems will pass on through.

Just the facts

I emailed a friend today whom I haven't seen since high school and asked the typical questions of, "where do you live, who'd you marry, what is your child's age" etc.  She responded with, "My life in a Nutshell"... I expected at least a paragraph or two describing how this or that came to be, what happened, etc., leading up to now.  But instead, she responded with a list of facts such as: high school, college, moved to this place, got married, made this career choice, then this one, divorced, moved, married again, kid.  I found this refreshing and so simple because there were no stories around any of it.  Just the facts.  Why I found this refreshing is because we all tend to weave our stories around things and the past then becomes our present just by the things we're regurgitating and the past does not need to be active any more than today can't be tomorrow.  The more we weave our stories, the more we tend to justify or explain why we got to where we are, or how we got to where we are and all of that is really quite irrelevant, because it's who you are now that matters.  Yes, you could say that you're a product of your past experiences and choices, certainly, but you don't have to continue viewing yourself from the same lens that you've always viewed yourself from, and by telling fewer stories about the past, you give way, or make way, for stories that are more based upon who you've become and the choices you want to make now about who you are.

Internal Source

There's nothing that I want more for my daughter than well-being and happiness.  I notice as she "goes out into the world and spreads her wings" (as a two year old does) that there are things I want to control for her, or that I have the tendency to want to control for her.  For instance, when she goes places where I'm not, she'll be offered different foods and she'll be exposed to different things than she would be offered or exposed to here at home or with me in general.  However I've come to my own conclusions about what to eat or what not to eat, or how to be or not to be, they are my conclusions.  And although I will ultimately influence her decisions to a certain extent, and influence her preferences and possibly her choices just by virtue of being in close proximity with her, what I really want her to know and feel is that she has her own guidance, her own "fog light" if you will, that shines brightly which will lead her to the best decisions for herself about herself.  We are bombarded with information these days from so many different sources, all of them external, and I want her to follow her internal source.  The one that says, "this is what's best for me", or "this is what's true for me", regardless of what my mom, my dad, my peers, my community, the magazines, the tv., the internet, the "experts" say, because there's no better expert of Franki, than Franki....even if she is only two years old.  And you know what, she likely knows this better than I do already.

What if???

I found myself thinking a few minutes ago about a situation that I'm currently in, and a part of, as it's affecting my life and the way I live, and I noticed that as "real" as the condition(s) are, as "real" as the reality of it is, and as much of it as I'm living, I feel somewhat detached from it.  Although I do have some negative emotional responses to it, overall, it...that reality, doesn't feel real to me.  And so that thought led me to wondering how I'm a match to this...how is it that I've attracted this into my life, and how is it that I've become a part of it?  As a coach, I see myself as a "solution" so to speak, and I never see myself as part of the "problem" being perceived.  People discuss things with me that they're currently experiencing, and I offer different perspectives about it without getting emotionally involved in the reality that they're living, but rather, in the reality that they prefer.  I don't "hold" all of the answers, but I can be a catalyst to discovering their own answers that were there all along, or I can help them move toward their solutions.  So then I thought....well, what if I'm the "solution" in this situation as well?  What if, rather than being a part of the "problem", as I've perceived myself to be, what if I'm involved with and part of this, because I am part of the solution?  What if, I'm part of allowing the solution to come?  What if, my role in this is just as I see myself when I'm coaching?  What if???  That simple change of perspective (that I'm part of the solution rather than the problem) puts me on a very different end of receiving ideas that will flow, and could now open up more solutions to occur to me.  That idea feels really good to me, so I'm going to decide right here and now that that is my role here and I'll let ideas about solutions naturally occur to me and see what happens.

I like this "gig"

This "blogging" gig is so much fun for me.  Whether or not anyone ever reads it, or even likes anything that I write for that matter, it's very satisfying to me.  I'm doing it to flow the energy through me, for the joy of it in the moment, and that is so fulfilling in so many ways.  No matter what you decide to focus on, it doesn't matter what it is...it could be your child, your work as an accountant, your current business deals, taking out the garbage, cleaning the house, drawing, painting, reading, having a conversation with someone....all of it is for the creation of it and your current focus is a way for energy to flow through you and I'm discovering that there's nothing better than that.

Do you like what's unfolding?

Is there anything in your life you want to change?  Anything that you'd like to improve?  Anything that appears to just stay the same that you'd like have a better experience of?  What sort of dialogue do you have about it?  What's the story you're weaving about it?  Do you keep regurgitating what you would prefer and how you would like it to unfold or improve, or, do you continually tell the story about the way it is, and how you don't like it and what you don't like about it?  Is there any part of the story that you're telling that you'd like to continue to experience?  Any part at all....????  Then why are you telling it?  Whether you know it or not, you're always creating with the words you speak and the emotions you feel and if you want what you’re telling to be your reality, then go ahead, keep on telling that story.  I've noticed myself telling someone, or going over something in my own mind, about something that I really would not prefer to experience, but I'm telling the story of the way it is, rather than the way I'd like it to be.  It's always to my benefit to pay attention to the stories I'm telling because just as I would write a script for a movie and then see it come to life on the big screen, my life becomes the big screen and the story I was telling comes to life.  Soooooo…. What are you going to choose?  If you like the story you’re telling, if it feels good to you….go ahead, keep on telling the stories about this, that and the other thing, but if the stories you’re telling contain any particle of that which you would not/prefer not, to experience, whether it be for the first time, or again, then don’t tell that part of the story and add a part in that you do like.  You’re writing the script to all of it.  You have total creative control and if you want some drama in your movie, then tell those parts that you don’t like and keep talking about them, and it will create some emotional “drama” (contrast) in your movie and it may make it more interesting for onlookers or for those listening to the story and it may seem to make your journey worthwhile to experience some things you really don’t want, and it may even be a really good point of conversation, and it may even be true because you’ve seen others experience it, or you’ve experienced it yourself, but that is never a good enough reason to continue to tell the story of what you don’t want to create (or re-create).  You’re always creating your future in your present moment through your focus.  If you want to create more of that, then, have at it, keep talking about it.  If you want to experience something a little more to your liking and you have different preferences about it, then now is the time to begin weaving another version of the story.   Again, you’re always telling a story; no matter what it is that you’re talking about, or thinking about, or giving your attention to, you are telling a story, and you are in essence, telling your life’s story that’s going to unfold for you right in front of your very eyes.