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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What If, the Destination is Now?

My blog post from last week, “There’s Always a Higher Speed Limit” received a lot of comments.  Below, I’d like to share one of those that one of my readers (and friend) wrote:

Reading through your speed limit story reminded me of my dad.  I used to love riding in the car with him and I would always ask him to pass every car on the highway so that we could finish first.  He kept doing that, but there was always a car in front of us especially when he was speeding up.  So after about a half hour of this ghost-chasing, he started asking me if I noticed the landmarks that we were zooming by on the Autobahn.  I kept saying, “nope, nope, nope.”  He finally said to me, “life’s just like our drive.  The more you’re trying to finish first/better/richer/prettier/more attractive/younger etc., the more you come across someone who has already been where you are, but in the process of trying to become all these things, you miss the fact that there is no destination or finish line.  All there is, is living and enjoying.”  So this was a life lesson to me from my dad who passed away when he was younger than me 26 years ago and your blog story inspired me yet again to think of him and honor him in my mind and in my heart.

DK

There’s such wisdom in this beautiful story.  Many of us are in constant pursuit of something…wealth, happiness, a mate, a better or newer car, a raise, a job, a business, more business, a slimmer or fitter body, better health, lost youth, and while improvement and wanting more or wanting change are in our nature as human beings, what if there is no finish line?  What if there is no destination in the way that we’ve come to know it?  What if there’s no hurry to get there?  What if there is no “there” at all?  What if the point of living life is not to get there, or to check off a list of accomplishments under your belt, but rather, to birth desires to flow your energy toward, to breathe life into you, and to receive pure enjoyment from where you stand right now, always on your way to more?  The point isn’t to get it all done, the point is to enjoy the ride along the way because you’re always going to be moving toward something more – some improvement, some change, some more.

I used to think that life was about getting to the finish line.  I used to think that the more I got done the worthier I was.  I used to think that the more productive and accomplished I was the more I’d earned some stars on the chart.

I like getting things done.  I like checking items off my list of things to do today (although I’m not so much about making lists anymore).  I like feeling productive.  But what I enjoy the most is the process on my way. The finished product or the end result is lovely and often inspires great appreciation from me, but it was the fun along the way, the flowing of that energy, that was the most fulfilling of all. 

We recently took a mini-vacation.  The funnest parts were planning it in advance, anticipating its arrival and then enjoying the meaningful and fun moments as we experienced our adventures together.  The funnest part wasn’t “getting it done”.  So it wasn’t the destination that brought me the most pleasure, it was the process.

What if, what makes life meaningful are just a series of meaningful moments? 
 
What if, what makes a happy life is just a series of happy moments?
 
What if life has never been about getting there, or getting it done, or hurrying through something as if where you are is not an important step along the way to where you’re going? 

How many times have you wished that something were different than it is now?  How many times do you just want to skip right over what you’re living now, to get to somewhere else?  How many times do you just wish you were somewhere else, doing something else?  What if now is all you’ve got?  What if, the destination isn’t some far-off end result or not-yet-accomplished goal or desire, but rather, the destination is right here, right now?  Because now…is all you’ve got. 

 

I love receiving comments from my readers and hearing how what I write might inspire a memory, spur a thought, crack a smile, grab a chuckle, invite some clarity, entertain, offer some insight, or summon introspection.  So please, whenever you feel inspired, I’d love your comments.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

There's Always a Higher Speed Limit


“Wow, I’m older than the number on that sign”, was the thought I had when I drove by a speed limit sign this morning.  The number was 45.  It’s my birthday today, so I guess numbers are higher in my awareness today. Then I thought, “well, there’s always a speed limit with a higher number.”

 I’d like to say that moving through time is irrelevant to me and that I don’t care how old I am, or that I haven’t been affected by what I’ve observed as people age; but I do care and an image has been imprinted.

 I’m now at the age my parents were when I thought they were old.  While I don’t think I’m old in the way that I thought my parents were, and I sorta kinda consider myself young’ish, I also recognize and acknowledge that I’m not 20 something or even 30 something either. 

 So I’m not the 20 or 30 something, I’m the 40 something sliding into the 50 something and what does that mean to me?  I see my reflection in the mirror.  It’s still me looking back at me, but there are subtle changes that seem oh-not-so-subtle to me.  I can’t stop the passage of time, although sometimes I think I’d like to.  Sometimes I think I’d like to freeze-frame everything and keep Franki at this age and myself at this age and hold time still; but I can’t.  Sometimes I want to hold on tightly so that nothing and no one in my life gets older and everything stays the same.  And then I let go…I loosen my grip, I breathe more deeply and I remember that I’ve just had a temporary moment of fear of the unknown.

 When I was about 7 years of age, my 70’ish grandfather came to live with us.  The way I saw him then is how I still remember him most.  I felt somewhat confused and somewhat disgusted at the way he was.  He would drag his feet and pee his pants and make little sense when he spoke.  But he had this sparkle in his eyes every now and then.  I knew for sure I liked that sparkle, and I also knew for sure that I didn’t want to be like him when I got old.

There are things to sift through.  How do I want to define my movement through time?  What do I want my experience to be?  Are there things I consider “inevitable” as I move through time?  Have I, or am I, accepting what I’ve observed in others as my fate just because it appears to be reality?  How do I talk about it and think about it now and are there ways in which I can redefine and change and shift my beliefs and expectations about my personal experience?

 I know that as I continue to move through time, I’ll continue to ask those questions, not accepting some pre-determined definition that I or others have defined, but consciously choosing what I prefer instead, and aligning my beliefs with that.

 I also know that I as I continue to move through time, there’ll always be a speed limit sign with a number higher than my age.  When I get to 99, I’ll go to Canada where the speed limit on the 401 highway is 100 kmh.  ;)