On....or Off???

Imagine….the very best personal assistant there ever was.  Your every request, your every desire is fulfilled.  Everything you’ve ever wanted is known by your assistant.  This assistant has the networks, the connections, the resources, the means, the know-how, knows how all of the pieces fit together, knows exactly where you need to go and who you need to talk to, knows what needs to come together for you to have everything you dream of having and living the best life you picture for yourself.  This assistant also has the best memory; receiving and remembering every request you’ve ever made, every preference you’ve had, since the day you were born (and before).  There’s nothing this assistant can’t do.  This assistant knows everyone there is to know, and everything there is to be known.  This assistant is the most efficient, reliable, resourceful, connected assistant you could ever envision.

Now, imagine your cell phone.  Pretty easy to do, isn’t it?  Imagine that to communicate with you, this assistant text messages you every minute of every day, providing you with information about where to go, who to talk to, what to do, what to think about, what you need to know, what to say.  Sucks for you that your phone is off, and since your phone is off, although your assistant is texting you with all of this valuable and helpful information, you’re just a power button away from having everything you want.

Now, imagine that this assistant is the Universe.  And now imagine that you turn that power button on.  You turn it on by feeling good.  You turn it on by appreciating.  You turn it on by complimenting, praising, loving, having fun, playing, being interested in something, doing something you love, laughing….yes, you turn it on by feeling good.  You turn it back off when you worry, when you fuss and stew, when you criticize, when you make the worst of it, when you get angry, when you feel sad.  When you turn your phone off, you get impatient, you think your assistant is pretty much useless and you want to fire her ass because you think she's not doing her job.  But, she’s doing everything you requested, it’s just that you’re not on the receiving end of the texts she’s sending you.  Either way, power on or power off, the texts are still coming with all the information you want, but to receive that information, the power must be on. 

The Universe is constantly sending you "texts", in the form of guidance, in the form of inspiration...guiding you, and calling you toward what you’ve told the Universe that you want. You’re constantly honing your desires through the living of your life, and the Universe (your assistant) is eager to assist you in organizing everything there is to be arranged for the fulfillment of your requests.  In any moment of the day, things are lined up for you to have the best experience, to see the most beautiful sunset, to meet the funnest people, to make those connections that will assist you on your journey.  Feeling good, is equivalent to having your phone on and you’re getting those texts just when it’s most beneficial to you…you get a great idea, you call somebody, you meet somebody, you go to the party, you go to the grocery store, you go to the meeting, you take a walk, you swim with the dolphins, you go to the playground.  And you trust those messages because you know that you’ve got the best personal assistant who knows everything and everyone there is to know.  Your job is to turn that phone on….

Kind of makes you look at your cell phone a little differently, doesn’t it????

I'm so great and smaaaaaart!

The other day, as Franki was using the outdoor furniture as a climbing gym, she sang, “I’m so greaaaat, and smaaaaart….and modest”!  This of course made Jack and I laugh out loud at her song.  What a cute thing to hear her say.  It made me wonder though…when does that…saying about yourself that you’re great and smart…when does that become inappropriate?  When does it become not so cute?   At some point, we begin to compare ourselves to others and if they say they’re great and smart, often we judge them for saying it and we judge ourselves, wondering if we’re chopped liver or something.  How can it be “wrong” in any way to think that you’re great and smart and beautiful and handsome and perfect in every way possible?  How can that ever be inappropriate?  Often, we come to believe about ourselves that we’re not so great and we’re not so smart and when we hear someone say that how great they are, and really mean it, we feel inferior or jealous and say they’re conceited or something like that.  We’ve been told by our parents, teachers, and society in general that it’s not ok to say you’re really good at something or to compliment yourself because it’s seen as “bragging” and other people may be offended; it’s not “what you do”, and people may even not like you because of it.   But what if you could really love yourself and know you’re goodness and know that you’re great in every way that you are, without needing to compare to another…knowing that everyone is great and smart and unique and that someone else saying that is not a threat to you in any way, nor is it ever inappropriate?  In fact, that’s how Source, or God, or whatever you want to call it sees you.  We’re all born with unique desires, unique ways of interpreting our life experiences and we all contribute to the bigger picture.  I want Franki to know she’s great and smart (which she clearly does ;)) and as a mother, I do want her to be liked, but never to the exclusion of how she feels about herself.  I want her to like herself first, and if she expresses how great and smart she is, I want her to know that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or feels about her and the more she knows her greatness, the more she’ll be surrounded with those who know it as well.  There’s no need to control other people, and there’s no need to adjust who you are for the sake of others…love yourself for your greatness for you are perfect and unique and so worthy just as you are…… Thank you, Franki, for constantly reflecting that back to me.  

I like her

I’ve got this little 3’ 2” person hanging around me who goes by the name of Franki.  When she first came along almost three years ago, I loved her but I wasn’t sure I liked her invading what used to be my life.  Is that even possible…to love someone but not be so sure you like them???  Anyway, I wanted to provide for her needs, and I wanted her to feel good and secure and all of that stuff that a mother wants for her child, but really….I was strapped to this kid day and night.  Even before I had her, I remember one night saying to my husband, “I hope I like this kid…and what if I don’t”? I know, it may seem insensitive, but I really meant it….I really was unsure at times about whether or not I’d like the kid that was about to come out of my belly and call me mother.  Before Franki, I liked kids, but being with them 24-7 would have been a really far stretch for me.  I had other “goals”, I had other “desires” and I had things to do, people to see and places to be as the saying goes.  Now, with Franki, nothing in this world that I could possess or experience would even come close to comparing what being with this child is like.  With her, it’s as if time stands still and all that matters is the present moment….being totally absorbed in our current play, or our current conversation or point of focus.  Nothing compares to holding her in my arms at night as she falls asleep; nothing compares to watching her facial expressions as she’s totally absorbed in some activity; nothing compares to hearing her say something for the first time or tell me a little story about something or other; nothing compares to sharing kisses and telling her I love her and giggling together.   Everything else is secondary.  I love coaching and I love having “things”;  I want things and I want different experiences and of course, there are always things “to do”…all of which add to my life, but nothing is as important to me as Franki and my little family.   That’s probably the thing that I’ve been most surprised about…how much this little person has affected me, my heart and soul; not only do  I love this child, I like her.  …. I really, really like her.

Who's in Charge?

Are you the feeler of your emotions or is someone else doing that for you?  Yes or no.  Are you the creator of your mood or is someone else choosing your mood for you?  Yes or no.  Are you the thinker and director of your thoughts, or is someone outside of you directing your thoughts?  Yes or no.  If you said yes to all of these questions, then you know that you’re the creator of your reality.  You’re either the creator of your reality and everything that’s associated with being the creator of your reality, or you’re not.   Believing otherwise is like saying to someone else, “here, you be in charge of how I feel and think my thoughts for me today, will you?  I’m done with this”.  The thing is, every time I get annoyed at Jack for leaving something laying around where I think it doesn’t belong, I am creating my reality.  I’m responding to a condition that looks like the rascal by the name of Jack did it, but he didn’t…I did and I keep doing it every time I respond the way I always do.  Why?  How?  Because when I react with my habitual thoughts, I set up a vibration that the Universe responds to, and whatever vibration I’ve got active, the people and situations in my life must respond in like-kind.  So, even though Jack really wants to please me and even though Jack loves me and would never do anything intentionally to piss me off, he just can’t help himself because he’s a player in my play, and since my vibration says, “annoyed at that thing he does” he’s going to play right into my vibration and do that thing that annoys me.  And it’s not to his blame, it’s to my credit.  Once again, I’m either the creator of my reality, or I’m not.  I’m either the feeler of my emotions or I’m not.  I’m either the thinker of my thoughts or I’m not.  Therefore, I’m either the creator of my reality……or I’m not.  

Where's the other shoe?

Are you one who expects the other shoe to drop?  You know…if things are going well, something’s bound to come along and go wrong, right?  Do you ever dare to expect good things?  Or, do you never mention how well things are going for fear that you’ll just “jinx” yourself? 

I could venture out on a limb and say that these beliefs are based on false premises to handle those “harsh” realities of life…… we’ve trained ourselves or learned to brace ourselves against our desires and our own happiness for fear that our desires will never come true, or that we’re actually undeserving of those things or of our own happiness.  So we put up our defenses and put up our guards and stand heroically propped to withstand our disappointments rather than welcome our heart’s desires.  There’s even the idea out there that wanting is selfish and that you shouldn’t want.  If there wasn’t “wanting”, how would new ideas, new developments, new technologies, new medicines ever evolve and come to be?  We’re born with an innate desire for joy, freedom and expansion.  Without expansion, we would cease to be.  So how is it that some come to expect that when things go too well, something is bound to come along and ruin it?  As a little girl, I came to the conclusion that if I was too happy and laughing today, I would be sad tomorrow; or there would be something for me to be sad about.  I also believed that if things were going too well, something would come along and ruin that.  So, I learned to “dread” those times when I felt really happy, fearing what was to come next.  To adapt, over time, I learned not to ever be “too happy”…there was this little “warning” voice inside my head that went something like, “if you’re too happy now, you’ll suffer later”.  I lived like that for a really long time, believing my conclusion and living by it until one day I realized that believing this “truth” would only continue the cycle in my life.  I was the one holding this truth to me and although I’d had the experiences to “back me up” and confirm my belief, it was only because I believed it to be true, that it was.  Afterall, truth is only what you come to believe and a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking; so truth, in fact, can be altered at any time you choose.  So I started exploring the idea of what it would be like to actually experience being happy without expecting something to come along and mess it up.  It was a stretch to even think about it because I’d lived my other “truth” for so long, but the idea felt better than holding on to my previous belief and I continued to explore it.  Any time I noticed that old belief come up for me, I would take the time to acknowledge that I could create a new truth for myself as simply as changing my mind and focusing on the reality that I would prefer.  And over a short period of time, I felt that shift…I felt myself believe that something far different from what I’d come to believe, could be true.  Not only could it be true, it was.  There’s nothing holding you back from the reality that you prefer other than the beliefs you have about it.  Your beliefs structure who you think you are, your view of the world, the people in it and how you experience life.  Let yourself make new decisions about what you want to believe based on how it feels to you and whether or not you wish to continue having the same experiences.  There’s nothing that can’t be changed…especially your beliefs.  When you change your beliefs, which means you change your vibration, your world….your reality….changes because the Universe has no choice but to respond to you differently. 

What’s on Your Menu?

I’m gonna go out on a wild-blue-yonder limb here and just assume that there’s at least one thing that annoys you or gets your tails ruffled and your eyes bulging and rolling around in your head like a marble; perhaps daily, perhaps every time you see it, perhaps every time you obsessively think about it.  For me, one of those things is when someone who I think should know better (I won’t name any names, but let’s just go with my husband) …. doesn’t put something back “where it belongs” as deemed by me; as if there’s a right place to put it in the first place.  If it’s someone that I conclude didn’t know where it went in the first place, (let’s say, a visitor) well, that’s alright in my world; but if I think that you should know better, then I’m annoyed. 

So let me give you some more examples and see if any of these trigger a bell, or a very loud gong.  The government makes a law that you think infringes on your rights, your boss doesn’t appreciate your efforts, your co-workers don’t do the job in the way you think they should, your significant other folds the laundry in a way different from how you like, your kids leave the roll of toilet paper empty without replacing it with a new roll, you don’t get paid enough, that so-called friend of yours doesn’t return calls or emails, that freak of a parent over there is yelling from the stands at your kid while your precious one is playing soccer, once again your significant other isn’t doing what he/she said she would and in a timely manner, your mother tells you what to do when you think it’s none of her business, you’re not being heard when you’re going on about how cute your cat is, the stop sign shouldn’t be where it is, your friend is texting while you’re trying to establish some sort of eye contact.  I know, right?!?!  So many things to be annoyed at, too little time.  Who has time to be happy when there’s so much to be annoyed about?

So pick one of those things that annoys you and just assume that it should be just the way it is, rather than pushing against the way it is (or believing it should be different).  So that person should be ignoring you, that person should be not appreciating you, that person should be being a jerk, that person or persons should be doing and being just exactly as they are...because they are doing/acting/speaking just as they are.  Everything is as it should be, therefore, no dialogue in your head that anything should be any different than it is.  Everything is as it should be, not only because it is, but also because Law of Attraction makes it that everything and everyone in your environment is being attracted to you and by you through your active vibrations (which are composed of your beliefs/thoughts/expectations).  So you say to yourself, of course they should be doing that, because they are.  Of course this should be just the way that it is, and I get to take the credit for it.  Doesn’t that take some of that feeling of righteousness, defensiveness, unfairness or downright turn-blue-in-the-face annoyanceness (yes, I know, that’s not a word…did that annoy you?)  ;) …..right out of the equation?  Can’t you just feel yourself letting go a little and feeling some relief in that thought?  …knowing that everything and everyone is just a reflection of your own vibrations???

When I get “upset” it’s usually because I think that something or someone should be different than they are.  Like I should have more money in my bank account than I do, you should be more considerate, I should be doing something other than I am, or I should be somewhere other than I am, or further along in my career, or driving a better/different car, my closets should be bigger, my husband should, my mother should (substitute anyone or anything in there… co-worker, employer, employees, government, roads, rules, laws, conditions etc.) ...  It’s the “shoulds” that I make up in my own head that I or someone else, real or imagined, is not living up to.  Or this “shouldn’t” be the way that it is in some fashion…and it’s all under the assumption that I’ve got nothing to do with any of it showing up in my life.  If I’m noticing it or being activated by it, once again, (I know I’m repeating myself) it’s because vibrationally, I’m a match to it somehow.

All of these things and people are out of my control, and if I could control them all, where would I start?  So why argue with things that I can’t control, which is anything outside of myself.   That’s the equivalent of saying, “here, I want you to be in charge of how I feel today”.   That’s like handing over your emotional life to someone else.  No matter what’s going on, you get to be in control of how you feel.  And if I begin to pay attention to how I feel and how I respond to the people and situations in my life, and direct my focus in better-feeling ways, not only will I be controlling the only thing that I can control, but the people and conditions in my life will also change to match my better-feeling focus. 

I know, in each and every scenario I’ve mentioned (and so many more) you could argue your case and write me a dissertation about why something should be different than it is, or shouldn’t be the way it is, according to you; and while you argue for your limitations and tell me it’s their fault that you feel the way you do, the people and the conditions in your life will remain the same and continue to annoy you.  When you know that you can’t control anyone else and when you know that when you try its hard work to keep everybody under your arm pit, why do you keep doing it?  Why do I/we/you keep allowing those things we call little or big to bother us?  Well, it’s because we’re still operating under the illusion that it’s the conditions that determine how we feel and we respond to those conditions in whichever way we’ve established or become accustomed to, without ever deciding that what I have control over is how I choose to feel and that’s the only thing I have control over.  There’s no one and no-thing outside of me that is actually in charge of that, although the common illusion is that there is.  When you come to realize that you are in control of how you feel and when you conclude that feeling good feels better than being mad, annoyed, irritated, anxious, worried, depressed, or sad, there will come a time when you decide to let more and more people off the hook for how you’re feeling and you’ll put an end to being a fish on the end of a hook and you’ll realize that the people and conditions don’t need to set the tone of your mood, at least not for long, and certainly not for as long as it used to.  There’s nothing worth your attention for very long if it doesn’t feel good.  Haven’t you ever noticed that the more annoyed you are, the more annoyed you get, unless you make a decision to focus differently?  And haven’t you noticed that the happier you are, the happier you get?  …unless and until you turn your focus to something that’s bothering you and then you get all hot and bothered again.  The point is, it’s what you focus on that affects how you feel and it’s how you choose to focus upon it that determines your mood.  There are plenty of things to focus on that feel good and there are plenty of things to focus on that don’t feel so good.  All of it is there for you to focus on, but rather than just look around sloppily and let whatever is going on make you focus, why not choose your focus based on how it feels?  When you go to a restaurant do you go to the restaurant you like or to the restaurant you don’t like?  When you sit down and look at a menu, do you look for things to eat that you enjoy, or do you nit-pick the menu looking for things you don’t enjoy and demand they change the menu?  That’s kind of a no-brainer, right?  Well, since everything is a microcosm of the macrocosm, why not apply that simple approach to life?  Pick the things on the menu that you like and look, look, look, talk, talk, talk, savor, savor, savor them; and those things that present themselves on the menu that aren’t to your liking, just let them be on the menu, because they are, and choose what you prefer instead.    

Totally Lovable Squeezable Me...

A few weeks ago, I was totally absorbed in squeezing Franki’s legs and adoring every single inch of them.  They’re just so squeezable and everything about them, in my opinion, is absolutely perfect.  I only had love, I only had appreciation, I only saw and felt perfection.  When I look at her, in part or in whole, I only see perfection as she is.  She’s got the cutest little dimples in her bum and a perfectly round belly and a beautiful curve in her back and hair that’s all over the place, no makeup, no primping, no inhibitions about how she looks.  Not only do I feel and see her perfection just as she is, but so does she.  I realized what a contrast that was to how I see myself.  For the next few days, I found myself wondering what it would be like to see myself as I see her; to adore every inch of me as much and as completely as I do Franki.  What would it be like to put lotion on my legs and just want to squeeze them and kiss them because I appreciate them so much?  What would it be like to look at my reflection in the mirror and completely adore what I see?....and I don’t mean just be ok with it, but really, really, really adore the reflection looking back at me.  What would it be like to revel in every part of my body’s perfection, just as it is, with only love and appreciation for it?  Then I realized that rather than wonder what it would be like, why not begin, right now, reaching for more appreciation, more reveling, more adoration.   I know what it feels like to love and appreciate my daughter just as she is, so I have a reference point of how that feels.  As I move through my days, I want to feel that more and more for myself, viscerally, completely, totally, unconditionally….

Mirrors

Franki can be what feels like at times, very demanding.  She wants what she wants and she wants it now and no amount of reasoning from a logical, rational or otherwise practical adult will do.  She also has a really great way of making what seems like a gazillion and one requests of me all at once, and doing it when I’m smack-dab in the middle of being absorbed in some sort of activity like preparing something that she’s already requested, pulling my hair out by the roots, rocking back and forth with a crazed look on my face or eating bon-bons ;).  So I pull myself away from my current activity and provide what my little princess is requesting, only to be met with a very defiant “nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”!  So I say to myself, “didn’t she just ask for this”?  And the answer is “yes of course she did, but I have a very sneaky suspicion that she’s just changed her mind”.   I’m really observant that way :0.   When these things happen, I can find myself thinking that what I’d really like to do is just run away, join the circus and be one who rides elephants and throws flaming batons of fire in the air.  But then I quickly decide that I’d much rather be with this child who just seems as large as an elephant right now with her demands.  I’m not beyond or above having a knee-jerk emotional response in these moments and most often, what I feel right then and there would be something equivalent to overwhelment or frustration.  I can feel myself wanting to blame her for my current emotions since she appears to be the catalyst of it all.  After all, if she weren’t being so bossy and making so many demands, I wouldn’t feel this way, right?!?  The thing is, although she’s appearing as the one producing demands and “making” me feel overwhelmed, I’m the one who gets the credit for the emotional response I’m having.  She’s not doing anything other than being a two year old who wants something and seeing me as the provider of some of those things.  She’s also figuring out her ability to choose and to change her mind and exploring how people respond to her.  The point is…well, actually, there’s more than one point….She’s not, in essence, defying me, she’s just establishing and exploring her independence and autonomy.  I don’t have to look at it from the point of view that she’s being difficult or uncooperative, and allow that perspective to permeate my response.  I can instead see that she has very valid and very real desires being expressed through the personality of a two year old.  She doesn’t care that I’m doing something else; she doesn’t comprehend that, although she’s simultaneously and what seems to me all at once requesting different things, I can’t fulfill all of her requests all at the same time.  While I’m not always going to be in a place of remembering this and responding accordingly, the thing is, I can reach for this perspective more and more, while I’m not in the middle of the tornado of “no’s” and “you have to do this right now mommy”.  The more I do that, the more aligned I become with this perspective and the easier it is not to see her as the rascal in all of this.  The other point is, is that relationships are tricky in the sense that most of us have been socialized to believe that “it’s your fault that I feel this way”.  “I felt fine before you showed up, and now you’re here and you’re doing that thing you do that annoys me and now I’m annoyed and it’s because of you”.  Or, “I felt awful before you came into my life and now all I see is sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and unicorns”.  The people in your life may seem like they’re the reason you’re feeling a particular way, but the responder is you.  They may be the catalyst for the emotion but you’re the one who gets the credit for the way you feel.  If you’re feeling a certain way, people are going to show up in your life reflecting or amplifying how you feel; they’ll look like they’re “making” you feel that way, but they’re just a representative, showing you how you feel.  If you like how you feel, go along your merry little way and keep thinking and doing what you’ve been thinking and doing.  If you don’t like how you’re feeling and you’re blaming the rascals around you, then here’s a perfect opportunity to see what these people are showing you and make a decision that you want to feel better.  It’s perfectly fine that you’re having the emotional response that you’re having, but the question is, “do you like feeling this way and are you holding others responsible for how you’re feeling”?   Emotional responses are often vibrational habits that we start somewhere along the path of life and you can bet that if it’s active enough, there’ll be people and situations that will continually “show” up in your life “making” you feel that oh-so-familiar feeling.  It’s not a coincidence.  The people and circumstances in your life are like a mirror…reflecting back to you how you’re already feeling.  Nothing ever has to be just because it always has been.  Things are constantly changing to the beat of your drum.  If you want something to change, first make a decision that you want to find an improved feeling about it.  If you don’t find a way to feel differently first, no matter what you do action-wise, things will continue to beat to the drum you’ve already got going.  Change how you feel, even if nothing in your circumstances has changed…change how you feel.  Change how you feel about the people in your life and what they “do” to you and change how you feel about the conditions or circumstances in your life.  Find a way to feel better about them, and you’ll also begin to see the reflection being mirrored back to you, change as well.  

Are there things you want?

We all have things we want that we don’t have.  We all have times in our lives when it feels like things aren’t working out so well for us or that things should be better or different than they currently are.

We all want more closet space or a better or different car, better health, a better body - fewer wrinkles here, less fat there, more definition here; we all want a mate who understands us, or a different mate, or one or none or more if you’re into that.  We all want a clean house, or a vacation home, or a different job, or more pay, or more work or less work.  We all want things to go well for our kids, and our families to be happy and the people around us to be well.  We all want a body that’s less sore or more active or fitter; we all want recognition and to be treated fairly.  We all want to make the big leagues while we’re playing the little leagues or we all want to make it to the NHL when we’re playing on a farm team.  We all want to be rock stars when we’re playing the local gigs or we all want more money in the bank than we currently have.  We all want a body that is well and disease-free; we all want a clean bill of health at our next check up.  We all want our mate to be home more and to work less or we all want to travel and be adventurous and free.  We all want to feel good.  We all want to be happy.

If everything we want is because we imagine or associate good experiences and good feelings with it once we have it, the same can also be said, “everything that we don’t want is because we associate “bad” things and anticipate feeling bad once we have it.  Why is this idea so important?  Well, keeping what I just said in mind, what if you could look at what you’d label as things unwanted that you’re currently living or fear bringing into your experience from the perspective that it’s the emotion that I’m associating with the condition or perceived outcome that’s upsetting me; the situation in and of itself holds no power over me.  What if you could see it in such a way that nothing “bad” ever happens, that everything and everyone in your life is of value to you  in some way and that everything is exactly as it should be.  What if you were born knowing that every situation in your life, every person, every condition is of value to you?  Would you then push against those things that you deem unwanted?  Would life be such a “scary” place to live?  Would you have to feel so guarded?  So disappointed?  So needing to be somewhere else than you are?  In such a hurry to get it done, get it over with, deal with it, get rid of it?  What if you could make peace with whatever it is that you’re living…make peace with wherever you are…whether you have a diagnosis that you find unpleasant, or you’re just not yet living in the house of your dreams or you don’t have your arms wrapped around the love of your life yet…..wherever you are on your path.  What if making peace with where you are is the missing link to everything in your life improving or changing?  Would you then be willing to look for the value, reach for thoughts that feel better, and make the best of where you are?  When you choose to see no value in what you’re living or experiencing, and choose to see yourself as a victim, or having bad luck or no luck at all, or having been born on the wrong side of the tracks, or that you should be living anything other than where you are or what you are and you keep observing and commenting and thinking about where you are (which isn’t where you think you want to be in your life) and making the worst of it rather than the best of it, you’re in fact making it worse for yourself by activating a vibration that the Universe matches; which means, that thing you wish you weren’t living or that thing you wish would change, never gets better or takes a helluva long time in improving or changing.  Not to mention how awful or bad you feel while you’re focused in this way.  When you resist what-is, it just persists. 

When I say make peace with where you are and make the best of it, I’m not implying to put a happy-dappy fake face on and ignoring how you feel about your current situation.  That would be like seeing your house on fire and pretending it’s not happening.  I’m also not saying that you need to accept unwanted things.  I mean, just don’t struggle against what-is.  Let it be what it is for now.  I mean, take a look-see and explore how you feel, allow yourself to become aware of how you feel and make it completely ok to be feeling what you’re feeling.  Nobody’s telling you that you should feel differently than you are about whatever it is.  You should feel exactly as you do…and, would you like to feel better?  Can you imagine going on a vacation and being unhappy about where you are every mile, every second, every bit along the way and being upset that there’s a journey involved in getting to your destination?  If you were to climb a mountain, would you expect level terrain the whole way?  Would you freak out if you came to some rougher terrain?  Well, that’s what I’m asking you to consider.  Do you need to be unhappy or do you need to have a freak about where you are on your journey; complaining, wishing things were different or better, making the worst of your situation at just about every opportunity you have, and pushing against it all the way, or, can you at least consider the idea that accepting where you are as just the beginning of your journey will ease the emotional discomfort that you’re feeling around the subject and, will set the wheels rolling in the direction of what you desire.  This could be an opportunity for you to discover and know something that you didn’t know before.  This could be an opportunity for you to feel something you’ve been wanting to feel.  If you could see the absence of something wanted or the presence of something unwanted as a viable, valuable and important part of the journey that you’re on, you could potentially let go of a whole lot of resistance which is the only thing that keeps you from what you want.  Every experience that you have in your life is shoring you up for more…every defining moment sets you up for more knowing, more understanding and more satisfying life experiences.