What’s on Your Menu?

I’m gonna go out on a wild-blue-yonder limb here and just assume that there’s at least one thing that annoys you or gets your tails ruffled and your eyes bulging and rolling around in your head like a marble; perhaps daily, perhaps every time you see it, perhaps every time you obsessively think about it.  For me, one of those things is when someone who I think should know better (I won’t name any names, but let’s just go with my husband) …. doesn’t put something back “where it belongs” as deemed by me; as if there’s a right place to put it in the first place.  If it’s someone that I conclude didn’t know where it went in the first place, (let’s say, a visitor) well, that’s alright in my world; but if I think that you should know better, then I’m annoyed. 

So let me give you some more examples and see if any of these trigger a bell, or a very loud gong.  The government makes a law that you think infringes on your rights, your boss doesn’t appreciate your efforts, your co-workers don’t do the job in the way you think they should, your significant other folds the laundry in a way different from how you like, your kids leave the roll of toilet paper empty without replacing it with a new roll, you don’t get paid enough, that so-called friend of yours doesn’t return calls or emails, that freak of a parent over there is yelling from the stands at your kid while your precious one is playing soccer, once again your significant other isn’t doing what he/she said she would and in a timely manner, your mother tells you what to do when you think it’s none of her business, you’re not being heard when you’re going on about how cute your cat is, the stop sign shouldn’t be where it is, your friend is texting while you’re trying to establish some sort of eye contact.  I know, right?!?!  So many things to be annoyed at, too little time.  Who has time to be happy when there’s so much to be annoyed about?

So pick one of those things that annoys you and just assume that it should be just the way it is, rather than pushing against the way it is (or believing it should be different).  So that person should be ignoring you, that person should be not appreciating you, that person should be being a jerk, that person or persons should be doing and being just exactly as they are...because they are doing/acting/speaking just as they are.  Everything is as it should be, therefore, no dialogue in your head that anything should be any different than it is.  Everything is as it should be, not only because it is, but also because Law of Attraction makes it that everything and everyone in your environment is being attracted to you and by you through your active vibrations (which are composed of your beliefs/thoughts/expectations).  So you say to yourself, of course they should be doing that, because they are.  Of course this should be just the way that it is, and I get to take the credit for it.  Doesn’t that take some of that feeling of righteousness, defensiveness, unfairness or downright turn-blue-in-the-face annoyanceness (yes, I know, that’s not a word…did that annoy you?)  ;) …..right out of the equation?  Can’t you just feel yourself letting go a little and feeling some relief in that thought?  …knowing that everything and everyone is just a reflection of your own vibrations???

When I get “upset” it’s usually because I think that something or someone should be different than they are.  Like I should have more money in my bank account than I do, you should be more considerate, I should be doing something other than I am, or I should be somewhere other than I am, or further along in my career, or driving a better/different car, my closets should be bigger, my husband should, my mother should (substitute anyone or anything in there… co-worker, employer, employees, government, roads, rules, laws, conditions etc.) ...  It’s the “shoulds” that I make up in my own head that I or someone else, real or imagined, is not living up to.  Or this “shouldn’t” be the way that it is in some fashion…and it’s all under the assumption that I’ve got nothing to do with any of it showing up in my life.  If I’m noticing it or being activated by it, once again, (I know I’m repeating myself) it’s because vibrationally, I’m a match to it somehow.

All of these things and people are out of my control, and if I could control them all, where would I start?  So why argue with things that I can’t control, which is anything outside of myself.   That’s the equivalent of saying, “here, I want you to be in charge of how I feel today”.   That’s like handing over your emotional life to someone else.  No matter what’s going on, you get to be in control of how you feel.  And if I begin to pay attention to how I feel and how I respond to the people and situations in my life, and direct my focus in better-feeling ways, not only will I be controlling the only thing that I can control, but the people and conditions in my life will also change to match my better-feeling focus. 

I know, in each and every scenario I’ve mentioned (and so many more) you could argue your case and write me a dissertation about why something should be different than it is, or shouldn’t be the way it is, according to you; and while you argue for your limitations and tell me it’s their fault that you feel the way you do, the people and the conditions in your life will remain the same and continue to annoy you.  When you know that you can’t control anyone else and when you know that when you try its hard work to keep everybody under your arm pit, why do you keep doing it?  Why do I/we/you keep allowing those things we call little or big to bother us?  Well, it’s because we’re still operating under the illusion that it’s the conditions that determine how we feel and we respond to those conditions in whichever way we’ve established or become accustomed to, without ever deciding that what I have control over is how I choose to feel and that’s the only thing I have control over.  There’s no one and no-thing outside of me that is actually in charge of that, although the common illusion is that there is.  When you come to realize that you are in control of how you feel and when you conclude that feeling good feels better than being mad, annoyed, irritated, anxious, worried, depressed, or sad, there will come a time when you decide to let more and more people off the hook for how you’re feeling and you’ll put an end to being a fish on the end of a hook and you’ll realize that the people and conditions don’t need to set the tone of your mood, at least not for long, and certainly not for as long as it used to.  There’s nothing worth your attention for very long if it doesn’t feel good.  Haven’t you ever noticed that the more annoyed you are, the more annoyed you get, unless you make a decision to focus differently?  And haven’t you noticed that the happier you are, the happier you get?  …unless and until you turn your focus to something that’s bothering you and then you get all hot and bothered again.  The point is, it’s what you focus on that affects how you feel and it’s how you choose to focus upon it that determines your mood.  There are plenty of things to focus on that feel good and there are plenty of things to focus on that don’t feel so good.  All of it is there for you to focus on, but rather than just look around sloppily and let whatever is going on make you focus, why not choose your focus based on how it feels?  When you go to a restaurant do you go to the restaurant you like or to the restaurant you don’t like?  When you sit down and look at a menu, do you look for things to eat that you enjoy, or do you nit-pick the menu looking for things you don’t enjoy and demand they change the menu?  That’s kind of a no-brainer, right?  Well, since everything is a microcosm of the macrocosm, why not apply that simple approach to life?  Pick the things on the menu that you like and look, look, look, talk, talk, talk, savor, savor, savor them; and those things that present themselves on the menu that aren’t to your liking, just let them be on the menu, because they are, and choose what you prefer instead.