From Awesome to Roarsome

When I was thinking about leaving my first husband, I feared that I was being stupid.  I doubted I could do it.  I didn’t know if I should.  I didn’t know where I was going.  I didn’t know the steps to take toward what I wanted.  I feared that I was leaving a man and a relationship that were really great and maybe would never realize the more that I was reaching for.

I had stability, and an exquisite home; we had a thriving business together.  We traveled, had great friends and we were the hub of gatherings for family and friends.  Money was ours to spend freely.  We even loved each other.  We got along.  We respected each other.  We had fun. 

It didn’t make sense to me… why would I want to leave when what I had was so good?

There was nothing fundamentally wrong with our relationship.  There was nothing that I could say he did or didn’t do that I couldn’t live with.  There was nothing that I can say I needed to run away from.

But I did feel a sense that I wanted to run toward more.

Did I dare want more than I had? 

Did I dare go from really good to awesomesauce? 

Did I dare???

I have clients who have great careers who want more.  Others who are in reasonably good relationships who want fantastic ones.  Some who live in outstanding homes in desirable locations and want even better.  And plenty others who want improvements over the exceptionally good life that they’re living.

And they wonder….

Can I dare to ask for it?

Can I dare to go for it?

Can I dare believe that I can have it?

The answer is yes. 

You can go from good to great or from awesome to roarsome. 

You can.

What I realized those years ago is that although I had the guy and the things that we mostly come to believe will make us happy, those weren’t the things that were making me happy.  Those were excuses and reasons to be happy, but not the basis of my happiness.

I needed to discover that happiness starts from within.

I needed to know that I could be happy without before I could be happy with.

I needed to believe that there was even better than I had, before I could know the better that I wanted. 

When I married him, I thought he was my forever guy.  I planned on being with him forever.

Nineteen years later, I found myself following a different path than I’d planned or thought would be.  

I found myself running toward a path less wandered; but one where I didn’t feel lost. 

A path that wasn’t so familiar; one that wasn’t based on needing things to stay the same.

A path that wasn’t based on things I knew and had come to know; one that wasn’t based on holding myself to good, to forego great.   

I didn’t know specifically where I was headed; I didn’t know all the steps onward; I didn’t have certainty in terms of a clear path, but I felt certain that I was taking the path that was right for me. 

I could no longer ignore what I felt so strongly compelled toward;  though I couldn’t define the specifics of it, I could feel the rightness of it.

The Universe knew where I was headed.  I just had to listen.

And when I did, the path continued to unfold before me.

I trusted.  I let go of needing to control, needing to confine, or needing to define anything. 

I committed myself to feeling good and following my bliss, however that unfolded, rather than staying where I was.  I committed to discovering my internal happiness rather than assigning it to anything outside of me.  I committed to being happy for the sake of happy.  

The details – the why’s, the what’s, the how’s, the “what are people going to think”, the doubts, the contradictory thoughts to the strong momentum I felt compelled toward, began to subside the more I decided to feel good and think less.

I chose a path that felt irresistible.

A path that led me to me. 

I didn’t have to leave him to follow that path.  I stayed until I knew I’d done the inside job first.  I stayed until I felt certain that staying was no longer an option.  I got happy.  I made peace with where I was.  I achieved a state of being that felt like appreciation.  I took the credit for how I felt…about everything.  And when I was consistently there, the path became clear to me.  I discovered that I could stay and be happy and have a really good life – but I knew that staying would also keep me resisting the more that I wanted. 

You don’t have to leave your guy or your gal; you don’t have to leave your cushy corporate job; you don’t have to run from your business or get out of town.

You can’t really run from anything and leave it behind. 

You can’t leave a place when you feel everything about it is wrong.

You can’t be more about what you don’t like and don’t want and have it unfold in ways you’re going to like more. 

But you can run toward something.

You can run toward something better.

You can dare to believe that you can have it just the way you want it to be.

But to do that, you can’t be squirming or complaining about where you are.

You’ve got to be more about what’s right.

Because you’ve heard the saying… “Wherever you go, there you are”. 

If you don’t tend to your emotional content; if you don’t do the inside job first, nothing you run away from will be very far away.  When you feel differently first, it changes everything.

When you can feel better about right where you are, clarity becomes yours.  You have more access to your internal compass.  When you’re no longer angry, resentful, blaming, fearful, or frustrated with where you are, the path lights up for you.  The way becomes clearer.  You align more with what you want, than with what you don’t want, and when you do, where you are can transform to become the better that you thought you were leaving for. 

Roarsome can be found right where you are.

Maybe it’s a different journey than you planned or thought you wanted. 

Maybe it doesn’t look quite like you thought it would. 

Maybe it appears in an altered way than you had intended.

The Universe knows where you’re headed.  You just have to listen.

Sometimes, the answer is moving away from one thing, changing the scenery, the face, the name or the place.  Sometimes that’s your easier way.  Why?  Because even though you take you with you, when you’re not in the physical space you were in, it’s easier to find the feeling place you’re reaching for.  It’s easier to stop noticing so much of what you don’t want; which then ceases the attention you were putting on what you didn’t want.

Make the best plans from where you are.  Rather than take steps forward in uncertainty, wait.  Find a way to feel sure first, to trust more.  Think about what you want and how it feels.  Feel better just because it feels better…about anything. Just feel better. 

And the way…the answer…will become clear.

Stay where you are or run toward something else. 

You can have better than you’ve got. 

You can reach for more. 

You can dare to believe that you can have it. 

It’s probable, not possible.

Good to great.

Awesome to roarsome.

Magnificent to phenomenal.

Outstanding to astonishing.

Dare to believe and let your belief reveal every little detail and experience that you dared to believe in. 

This is my 7th post as part of the #braveblogging project with Illana Burk of makenessmedia.com

No Gimmicks. No upsells. No tactics.  Just show your colors.