It's Always Working Out....

I planned on delivering Franki at home and ended up with a c-section.  Not what would appear as “going according to plan”, right?  But what seemed to have “gone wrong”, ended up being the perfect unfolding for all of it.  Could I be disappointed that I didn’t have her at home?  Could I focus on the idea that I ended up getting an epidural when I thought I wouldn’t need any drugs?  Could I be upset that I had a c-section rather than having her the “natural way”?  I don’t really know what I was thinking about the “no drugs” thing… ;)  Of course, I could use any and all of these reasons to feel other than really good about the way it all played out and I could use this scenario to beat myself up because I ended up taking pain killers when I didn’t expect I’d need to; and I could see this as having “all gone wrong”, rather than see it as having “all gone right”.  And life is like that.  You can see your current situation as having “all gone wrong” if it’s not where you thought you’d be at this age or this stage of life, or if your kids are doing something you never thought they would and preferred they were doing something else, or if you’re financially in a position that you never imagined yourself to be, or if you’re no longer with the father/mother of your children, or if you’re in a relationship that you find unfulfilling, or in a job that isn’t yet your dream job.  All of these situations or conditions could be viewed from the perspective that something has gone wrong, or that it’s “all wrong”.  But where does that perspective get you?  It gets you more of what you’ve got, and most importantly, it doesn’t feel good to think that way, does it?  What if everything was always working out for you?  What if this situation or condition is the fastest path to what you really want?  What if you knew that this was just part of the journey to where you’re headed just like when you climb a mountain…you know that there will be different terrain along the way, and maybe even some that you find hard to navigate, but you still know that you’re moving toward the summit.  If you can find a way to view whatever it is from a different perspective, first and foremost, you improve how you feel, and secondly, because you change how you feel, your point of attraction also changes and now you can start creating different outcomes.  In the case of having Franki at the hospital, I spent an extremely short amount of time dwelling on what-was and how it was unfolding and decided that it could not have played out in a better way.  I got to experience the best of both worlds.  I’d wanted to have Franki at home, not because I was pushing against any institution, but rather because having her at home just seemed like a really comfortable and good idea at the time. (Again, no drugs…really?!?...what was I thinkin’???) ;)  I really didn’t put much “effort” into the thought of it…how I was going to have her, I mean.  What felt best was having her at home, so that’s what I decided. I also liked the idea of having a mid-wife and having personal attention from one person throughout the term of the pregnancy.  I liked the idea that when I went into labor, I would be at home, and would be cared for by the mid-wife and after the delivery I would be at home.  When things didn’t progress as the mid-wife wanted them to, she had to make a quick decision about what to do.  I resisted only slightly because that “wasn’t the plan”, but I went along with the best decision for the baby rather than hold on to some notion of sticking to any “plan”.  When we discovered that it would be best to have a c-section, once again, not “according to plan”, but why stick rigidly to a plan when it’s not working just because I had some pre-conceived idea of how it was “supposed to be?  By now, pain killers were sounding really good.  So, another quick decision and a change of attitude and making peace with the unfolding of it and soon after, Franki came into the world.  So how could I say any of that went wrong?  Not only did I have the best care during the pregnancy, but also through delivery at home and at the hospital.  The care I received from the nurses was exceptional and my experience there was nothing but fantastic.  Besides, being in the hospital gave me time to rest and recoup, I had meals served to me, and I had all kinds of people who knew what they were doing surrounding me when I was just figuring out this whole process.  It could not have worked out better, and from my perspective, I would not have wanted it to be any different than it was.  It unfolded perfectly every step along the way, even when if there were moments along the way when it didn’t really seem like it was working out so well.  But the holding on to the idea that it wasn’t working out so well would only cause me emotional pain and keep me from putting my attention on the task at-hand.  Because it was different than I thought it would be was not reason enough to hold on to the idea.  You can spin your perspective of any situation and approach it from a perspective of trusting that it’s always working out for you, and that nothing ever is going wrong, but always so right, and that every defining moment that you ever have is always and only ever setting you up for more wonderful things to come.