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Thursday, November 10, 2011

More Is Yet To Come


When I first started the process of delivering Franki, I sort of just went with it.  As more time passed and nothing seemed to be changing or moving along, I started resisting the physical sensations and what was happening rather than allowing it to be.  I anticipated what was coming and what I wasn’t going to like and holding myself in resistance to it.  The more I resisted, the worse it seemed until finally I made peace with where I was and what was happening and soon after, the process moved along more quickly.  Making peace with where I was didn’t mean accepting the unwanted conditions and using them as a reason for “giving up”.  It meant not to struggle against what was unfolding and just allowing it to be.  I could push against where I was and hate every minute of it, or, I could make peace with it, and stop struggling and writhing.  In the absence of struggle, things are then allowed to fall into place.  In the absence of struggle, you can find things that you didn’t know before that you now know and you can find things to appreciate about your current situation and you can feel things that you’ve been wanting to feel.  Where you are in any moment is a viable and important step along the journey that you’re on and there are things that you’ll discover about yourself and about life that you would never have known so intimately or understood so well if you hadn’t gone through what you did.  Within every situation, there’s something that you’re wanting to know more deeply no matter how it looks and so if you don’t compare where you are and what-is with how it was “supposed” to be or with anything that was, and instead you live in what-is and appreciate it along the way to more that’s unfolding for you, life will be an endless journey of experiences that will please you more and more as you decide that where you are is right where you’re supposed to be and that all is well.  What-is is always a starting point to more of your journey that could continually unfold in satisfying ways.  So when you’re facing what-is, there are always two choices: you can either struggle and push against it, writhing in the pain, or, you can make peace with what-is and see it as a good thing on your way to more good things and even more pleasing life experiences.  It’s all perceptual and the perspective that you choose will determine what more is yet to come.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Good To Know

You’re the creator of all of it.  You’re the creator of how people treat you in the grocery store, you’re the creator of how people play with you in traffic, you’re the creator of how your employees respond to you, you’re the creator of how your employer treats you, you’re the creator of the amount of money you have in your bank account, you’re the creator of the condition of your body, you’re the creator of how people everywhere interact with you, you’re the creator of your relationship(s) with other people.  You’re the creator of it all and you are the creation within it.  Those people that you accuse or blame of being rude, inconsiderate, insensitive, annoying, stupid, loud-mouth, arrogant, sloppy, lazy, and the list goes on, are brought to you, by you, based upon your point of attraction.  Nothing can exist in your life outside of what you’re a vibrational match to.  And likewise, all of those people that you consider to be nice, pleasant, considerate, admirable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, entertaining, and once again, the list is endless…all of those people are also brought to you, by you.  Is life easy or hard?  Do things have a way of working out for you or not so much?  What you experience and how you experience it is a result of your focus, expectation, mood, attitude and perspective and it all has to do with what frequencies or vibrations are active within you which determine your experience.  It may appear as though some of these things are beyond your control and certainly not of your doing, but all of these people and all of these experiences are just representations of what frequency you’re walking around with in any moment of the day.  Where are your expectations?  Do you expect people to be rude?  Do you expect people to be inconsiderate?  Do you expect to be disrespected and do you constantly voice the inappropriateness of those who disrespect you?  Or, do you believe that people in general are rude, inconsiderate, selfish and inappropriate?  Do you praise and compliment and expect to be treated well and expect to have exceptional service wherever you go?  Do you believe that generally speaking, people are well-meaning and kind, helpful and sincere?  Do you expect your bank account to increase and do you appreciate the goods and services that make your life easier and better, or do you complain about the service and do you complain about the cost and complain about the global economy?  Do you expect to get to your destination with ease, seeing pleasing things along the way and listening to something you enjoy, or do you expect there to be traffic and delays and nothing along the way to be all that pleasing?  Do you expect the kids to cooperate with you or to stand in opposition to you?  Do you focus more on what you love about those who are in your life, or more on what bothers you about them and what they’re doing that you don’t like?  Do you focus more on the things that are working in your life, or do more on those things that aren’t so much?  Whatever you expect, whatever you’re focusing on, whatever you’ve come to believe and know to be your “truth”, will be your truth, and therefore your experience.  But you’re the creator of it all.  You’re the director of this movie and the people and the things and the experiences that you’re having are all your creation and the physical manifestations are just the representations of your mood and attitude and they’re playing to your direction.  If you want different scenes, if you want different actors, if you want different takes, you need to direct your attention to more of what you want and to more of what feels good, rather than to what you’re getting and would like less of.  It’s all up to you.  The manifestations you’re having every day are your doing…isn’t that good to know?  Isn’t it good to know that you can, with a change of focus affect how you feel and then affect the manifestations going on around you?  Isn’t that better than believing that there are all of these people and all of these things happening around you that you can’t do anything about?  Doesn’t it make you feel a whole lot more powerful to know that you can affect what you’re living and experiencing by how you feel and what you choose to focus on and what you come to expect?  That’s how powerful and that’s how worthy you are…you are so powerful and worthy that you have the power and ability to create the world around you.  And now….isn’t that good to know?!?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Please Be Different So That I Can Feel Good...

Generally speaking, relationships are based on a lot of false premises.  One of them goes something like this, “you need to change so that I can feel better”.  Or stated in another way, “you need to behave in a manner that pleases me, so that I can feel good”.  That can also be translated into, “you need to think more like me, you need to like what I like, you need to agree with me, you need to support me, you need to behave in the way that I see fit, you need to see things my way, you need to stop doing that, you need to start doing this, you need to communicate in a way that I think you should, you need to be quiet, you need to never be in a bad mood….So many conditions!  So many people to please and all of them want something different, right? How do you ever figure it all out?  How do you ever remember which one wants what from you?  And when is your husband going to stop doing that thing he does that bothers you so much?!?  Not likely any time soon if you keep focusing on it.  And when is your neighbor going to finally clean up his pig-sty of a yard?  And when is that teacher finally going to recognize how brilliant your child is?  And when are your children or grand-children going to stop playing with those damn I-phones in their hands? And when is your wife finally going to understand your love of football?  There are so many expectations of those around us that we’re in relationship with that are based on the false premise that in order for me to be happy, or in order for me to feel good, you need to change or do something different.  After all, it’s all about pleasing me, isn’t it?  Why shouldn’t you have to change, and why shouldn’t you want to change since you know how happy it will make me?  Why would you be so selfish as to want to do things your way rather than my way?  Why would you be so selfish as to behave in the way you do because you want to, rather than behave in the way that I want you to?  You’re sooooooo selfish.  … I just don’t understand you.    Do you hear yourself in that dialogue?  Do you see how ridiculous it is?  “Don’t please yourself you selfish one, instead, please me….because I’m not selfish”.  I know, we all do it to some degree or another either momentarily before we “come to our senses” or, for a lifetime.  You wish that driver wasn’t being such a jerk and you wish the government would “clean up its act” and you wish your kids would clean up their rooms and you wish your mom would stop pestering you and you wish your dad would engage and you wish your employee would be more responsible and you wish your boss would just drop dead.  The list of conditions is endless and the idea that anyone needs to change before you can feel good is one that is dated.  We’re all selfishly wired to want what we want.  We’re all born knowing that the Universe revolves around us, but along the way, we got socialized; first by our parents who wanted us to behave in particular ways so that they could be pleased and approve of us; then by our teachers and peers and the rest of world around us.  But there’s something off about that whole premise.  If you’re the creator of your reality, isn’t it up to you to feel good regardless of what “those people” are doing around you?  You might be able to control one person in the lot, but you’re not going to be able to control them all.  When you start trying to control anyone, they may for a time be compliant with your demands, but eventually they’ll come to resent you for the control you’re trying to impose upon them.  Expecting someone to please you before you can feel good is conditional love.  You see it everywhere, it’s rampant, and it’s based on the false premise, once again, that someone outside of you needs to change before you can feel good.  It’s not anyone’s responsibility to behave in a way that you want them to.  If you want to feel good, don’t hold your breath waiting for this one to change before you feel good, because you’ll be waiting for that one and that one and that one and then you’re going to think that you need to control all of them, which is next to impossible, not your job, and we already talked about what that’ll get you.  You can decide that you’re the one responsible and the one who gets to take the credit for how you feel.  You don’t have to wait until someone is compliant enough to agree to your demands before you experience improvement in the way you feel.  Holding someone else responsible for how you feel only makes you feel more powerless and more at the hands of others who you think need to change before you feel better.  And what if this person won’t change?  What then?  Are you going to feel mad, resentful, sad, disappointed, annoyed for the rest of your life?  How you feel about anything or anyone is up to you and not conditional upon anything or anyone needing to change before you can feel happy now.  You can decide that you’re going to make your state of joy more important than needing that person to change and you can experience your personal power in creating your reality. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

It's Not There....Or Is It?

I looked in my travel bag, and it wasn’t there.  Have you ever looked for something that just wasn’t there?  You thought it was there, you looked, but it wasn’t there…. So then you go digging everything out of your bag or out of the drawer, and it just isn’t there….How does that happen?!?  Well, it happens because you start out looking for something that you think is there, you don’t immediately see it and so, you then conclude “it’s not there, it’s not there” while you frantically keep searching.  (You’re laughing right now, right, because you can just picture yourself doing this).  It happens because when you’re looking for something that’s “not there”, it won’t be there.  I know…. “pretty deep stuff, huh”?  The point is, if you’re looking for something that you think is “lost”, it won’t be anywhere to be found because you’re not vibrationally in-sync with its recovery.  You’re more vibrationally in-sync with its disappearance.  And since the Universe responds to your vibration, and your vibration is now more about “it not being there”, well, you’re now looking for something that you thought was there but now isn’t there, so….guess what?!?  It’s…not….there….  But it could still be there, it’s just that you’re not on the same vibrational wavelength of finding it because what you’re saying is either, “it’s lost and I can’t find it”, “it’s not there, it’s not there”, “where could it be”, “where did it disappear to”, “who took it or who moved it”,  “I don’t know where it is if it’s not here”, “I wonder what happened to it”, “how could it have moved itself”, “I knew I was going to lose this thing some day”….. You get the picture?  So in that moment, you’re all about the “missing” item, rather than the presence of it.  You’re more about, “where did it go”, than you are about, “I know it’s here”.  It’s like putting your radio dial on 97.9 while you want to hear what’s being broadcasted on 107.9.  Does that make any sense at all?  No, if you wanted to hear what was being broadcasted on 107.9, you’d tune your frequency to 107.9, right?  You don’t hear what’s being played on 107.9 if you’re tuned to another frequency.  So just like the example above, if you’re looking for something that’s lost or missing, you’re on a different frequency than “I know where it is”.  And haven’t you found that if you just stop looking for the item that was “lost” and you forgot about it or you decided that it would show up somewhere, sometime, then true to that attitude, sometime later, you found it right where you you’d been looking before, or it “showed up” in some place that you “happened” to look?  It was there all along.  Spoooooooky…. ;)  Once again, how could that be?!?  Well, this time, you de-activated the frequency of “it’s not there, it’s lost, I can’t find it, where is it”, and allowed yourself to come into alignment with finding it where you probably last left it because you stopped being so focused on the absence of it.  When you’re focused on the absence of anything, be it an object like a knife in a drawer, money in your bank account, a state of physical condition, a car, a pregnancy, the relationship that you want…if you’re focused on its absence, its presence will continue to elude you indefinitely until you finally tune your dial to the frequency that the presence of it is on.   And just like that thing that I was looking for in my bag was there all along but I just didn’t see it, all of that stuff that you want is there, but if you’re not seeing it or experiencing it, it’s because you have the perspective that “it’s not there” or “something’s missing”.  If you can close that gap between your awareness of it not being there and your feeling that you already have it even if you don’t, in a short amount of time, as long as you’re consistently focused on the feeling of having it, it will come into your experience, and you’ll now be living the reality of it.  Nothing is ever “not there”…your frequency is always determining what your experience is and an “absence” of something only means that you’re tuned to 97.9 when you want to be tuned to 107.9. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

It's Always Working Out....

I planned on delivering Franki at home and ended up with a c-section.  Not what would appear as “going according to plan”, right?  But what seemed to have “gone wrong”, ended up being the perfect unfolding for all of it.  Could I be disappointed that I didn’t have her at home?  Could I focus on the idea that I ended up getting an epidural when I thought I wouldn’t need any drugs?  Could I be upset that I had a c-section rather than having her the “natural way”?  I don’t really know what I was thinking about the “no drugs” thing… ;)  Of course, I could use any and all of these reasons to feel other than really good about the way it all played out and I could use this scenario to beat myself up because I ended up taking pain killers when I didn’t expect I’d need to; and I could see this as having “all gone wrong”, rather than see it as having “all gone right”.  And life is like that.  You can see your current situation as having “all gone wrong” if it’s not where you thought you’d be at this age or this stage of life, or if your kids are doing something you never thought they would and preferred they were doing something else, or if you’re financially in a position that you never imagined yourself to be, or if you’re no longer with the father/mother of your children, or if you’re in a relationship that you find unfulfilling, or in a job that isn’t yet your dream job.  All of these situations or conditions could be viewed from the perspective that something has gone wrong, or that it’s “all wrong”.  But where does that perspective get you?  It gets you more of what you’ve got, and most importantly, it doesn’t feel good to think that way, does it?  What if everything was always working out for you?  What if this situation or condition is the fastest path to what you really want?  What if you knew that this was just part of the journey to where you’re headed just like when you climb a mountain…you know that there will be different terrain along the way, and maybe even some that you find hard to navigate, but you still know that you’re moving toward the summit.  If you can find a way to view whatever it is from a different perspective, first and foremost, you improve how you feel, and secondly, because you change how you feel, your point of attraction also changes and now you can start creating different outcomes.  In the case of having Franki at the hospital, I spent an extremely short amount of time dwelling on what-was and how it was unfolding and decided that it could not have played out in a better way.  I got to experience the best of both worlds.  I’d wanted to have Franki at home, not because I was pushing against any institution, but rather because having her at home just seemed like a really comfortable and good idea at the time. (Again, no drugs…really?!?...what was I thinkin’???) ;)  I really didn’t put much “effort” into the thought of it…how I was going to have her, I mean.  What felt best was having her at home, so that’s what I decided. I also liked the idea of having a mid-wife and having personal attention from one person throughout the term of the pregnancy.  I liked the idea that when I went into labor, I would be at home, and would be cared for by the mid-wife and after the delivery I would be at home.  When things didn’t progress as the mid-wife wanted them to, she had to make a quick decision about what to do.  I resisted only slightly because that “wasn’t the plan”, but I went along with the best decision for the baby rather than hold on to some notion of sticking to any “plan”.  When we discovered that it would be best to have a c-section, once again, not “according to plan”, but why stick rigidly to a plan when it’s not working just because I had some pre-conceived idea of how it was “supposed to be?  By now, pain killers were sounding really good.  So, another quick decision and a change of attitude and making peace with the unfolding of it and soon after, Franki came into the world.  So how could I say any of that went wrong?  Not only did I have the best care during the pregnancy, but also through delivery at home and at the hospital.  The care I received from the nurses was exceptional and my experience there was nothing but fantastic.  Besides, being in the hospital gave me time to rest and recoup, I had meals served to me, and I had all kinds of people who knew what they were doing surrounding me when I was just figuring out this whole process.  It could not have worked out better, and from my perspective, I would not have wanted it to be any different than it was.  It unfolded perfectly every step along the way, even when if there were moments along the way when it didn’t really seem like it was working out so well.  But the holding on to the idea that it wasn’t working out so well would only cause me emotional pain and keep me from putting my attention on the task at-hand.  Because it was different than I thought it would be was not reason enough to hold on to the idea.  You can spin your perspective of any situation and approach it from a perspective of trusting that it’s always working out for you, and that nothing ever is going wrong, but always so right, and that every defining moment that you ever have is always and only ever setting you up for more wonderful things to come.