Don't let your problems do your thinking...

When you don’t feel good, don’t think…or certainly don’t think about anything that’s bothering you.  I’ve learned that from first-hand experience; I just dig a deeper hole that’s harder to “get out of” when I do.  If I’m already feeling some type of negative emotion, it’s because I’ve been thinking thoughts that make me feel that way.  Thoughts along the lines of, “things aren’t working out for me in this way”, or, “I wish something was different than it is”, or “why is this taking so long”, “that person at work is such a *#@^&*(!”,  “I never get what I want”…… so many thoughts about so many subjects that can create a negative jag and the longer you stay on that train of thought, the more thoughts like it come and then the whole thing that you’ve created in your mind seems like it’s really true and you feel like *&(t  and the more you think, the worse you feel.  It could even be a perceived problem that I’m contemplating, and I’m really focused on the problem rather than on the solution, and I can feel the negative emotion of that, whether it be frustration, or overwhelment, or like this is never going to end, or how will this resolve….again, such a variety of thoughts and emotions can come up while focused on a problem, and the deeper you dig into the problem and try to solve it from that negative-feeling place, not only do you not allow a solution to reveal itself to you, but you just find yourself in a place of feeling like crap.  Another instance might be when I think of something I would like to experience, and I immediately feel the absence of it, or I have a thought of doubt or uncertainty about it, I know that this is not the time to dig deeper, and it’s not always the best time to find a better-feeling perspective.  So, I’ve formed a new habit of not thinking about that thing that I have doubts about or that’s bothering or activating me when I’m in the midst of feeling doubtful, bothered or activated.  I know, it kind of goes against the idea of focusing on the problem until you find the solution, but I’ve come to discover that the problem is never solved and the solution never discovered when I’m in that place because what I’m most focused on in those moments is the problem.  And I’ve also found that if I try to talk myself into feeling better when I’ve just felt a moment of doubt, I just keep activating the doubt rather than feel better.    Most of us are thinking beings; we like to think; our minds like to be occupied, so for me to say, “just idle your mind and don’t think at all”, for some, that would be next to impossible and a hard idea to fathom.  If you can go off and meditate and quiet your mind, have at it.  That’ll slow the momentum down in the direction that you were heading with your thoughts and when you come out of meditation, you may be able to choose a different direction of thought.  But, if meditation isn’t your thing, or even if you find that meditation just didn’t quiet your mind, then don’t fight or push against your inclination to think, just use your ability to think on a different, more neutral subject like, “I wonder how much light a star would generate if I was standing 20’ away from it”?  Or think of some type of paradox that would keep your mind active, like, “what would happen if an unstoppable force were to collide with an immovable object”, or, “which came first, the chicken or the egg”, (you get my drift) or some type of word game that will allow you to think, but to think about something other than what was bothering you.  And that pesky little “problem”, might try to sneak back into your thoughts numerous times, but not so much if you’re focused on something else that’s got you engaged in a thought process.  It’s when you’re not thinking about the problem that an idea pops into your head, if not to completely “solve” the problem, at least to move you in the direction of the solution.  So next time you find yourself totally engrossed in thinking about something that doesn’t feel good, do your best to find something that will allow you to engage your mind, but in a more neutral way…something you don’t really “care” about, but is enough to keep you focused on it and know that while you aren’t thinking about your problem, you’re allowing the solution(s) to come to you.