My Vow Still Holds True

“Trying to hold on to any relationship as it was, keeps you from the joyous adventure of what it can become.” Abraham-Hicks

Nine years ago today, Jack and I married on a beautiful fall day amongst the crimson, yellow and orange foliage that embraced us with its splendor. The lady who married us, Misha, was as beautiful and colorful as our surroundings, dressed in traditional robes from her country.  An intimate group of family members and friends joined us in celebrating our union, as we exchanged our vows with each other.  I vowed to honor and obey Jack, fulfilling his every request, and to serve him breakfast while being scantily adorned in clothing.  ….....

Well, that wasn’t quite what I vowed, but I did make a commitment to him, and to myself.  (my wedding vows to Jack are below this blog, if you would like to read them).

Our wedding was simple and easy from the planning process straight through to the ceremony and beyond.  Family and friends began arriving at our home around 4:30 in the afternoon and Jack and I mingled amongst them.  At 5:50, I went upstairs to change out of my jeans and into my dress and re-joined the group at 6:10; fifty guests perched on our front porch, silent and still, respecting the exchange that was about to begin; Jack waiting below on the sidewalk, for me to stand next to him. 

The memory of that day activates within me a knowing and a certainty and a love that I felt so purely and unconditionally.  It keeps me, not held in the past and wishing it was again, but eagerly grounded in what we have now, and what we continue to become as individuals, as a couple, and now as a family with Franki in our mix.    

There are things we used to say and do for each other that we no longer do.  Those have been replaced with other things that we now say and do.  Some of our priorities have changed, our desires continue to evolve and the temperature of our relationship modifies as we navigate through our lives.

Things aren’t meant to stay the same; we can’t help but expand as human beings.  Sometimes I go willingly, and sometimes…not so much.  But what creates discomfort within me is if I hold to some illusion of the past or how we were “back then” and make a comparison to now, rather than appreciate what we’ve become. 

 

As I hold on to whatever was, I’m not embracing or allowing all that our relationship can evolve into.

I want to continue exploring the depths and breaths of our relationship and of each other.  I want to use my individual freedom to fuel my desire to evolve and to continually re-commit to this man as he changes and becomes.  And now, with Franki in the mix, I see that I make the same commitment to her, (except for the lust part) ;) as I did to Jack.  What I vowed to Jack and to myself nine years ago still holds true for me; maybe truer than ever before.

 

 

Here are my wedding vows to Jack....

Jack,

 My wedding present to you is not something tangible or material.  My wedding present to you is me – all of me – my light and my dark, my past and my present; my magnificence and my fears, my brilliance and my negativity.  I give you all of me, for it is in this space that I choose to create with you.  Create a life of passion, filled with creativity, love and joy.  A life of vision, clarity, peace and certainty.  A life of courage, trust, ….. and deep faith.  I support you in all that you are, all that you do.  I support you in achieving your goals, following your heart and soul’s passion and living the life of your dreams.  I am committed to your growth as much as I am committed to my own.  I am committed to us, to our vision and to creating a life exactly as we imagine it to be.  I offer you my heart, I offer you my soul.  I offer you freedom…to be.  I am here to reflect all of who you are and to be all of who I am.  I promise to enhance my own self-esteem every day – to honor and to love myself every day; to create space for you to do the same.  My commitment to you is to take care of myself…to want you, not need you.  I shall not obsess over you.  I love and lust you.  My commitment to me is to be selfish.  My commitment to you is to honor your selfishness.

 When our eyes first locked, I knew I knew you, I remembered you.  My soul recognized your soul from the past.  I am blessed to have reunited with you.  We have another lifetime to re-create and re-define who we are on this journey together.  It is my honor and my privilege to know you, to share my life with you and to have you share your life with mine.  It is my honor to support you and to challenge you; I shall treat my role with utmost respect and reverence.

When I look at you, I see this amazing soul who is deeply connected and plugged-in; one who searches for answers and for truths.  One who searches for illusions to be revealed, while appreciating the illusion of it all.  I see a kind soul.  I see a compassionate soul, a reflective soul.  I see balance.  I see a playful and young soul; one who loves humor and laughter.  I see a soul who easily transforms in the moment to who he needs to be.  One who easily and effortlessly connects with others of all ages, race, and background.  I see a soul who is creative and intelligent.

 In you I see all of this as you are a reflection of me.  As we stand separately, we are one.  Our power comes from inner strength.  With this inner strength, we create a truly powerful relationship.  With this inner strength, we create a space that allows for growth – for who we are now, who we need to be, and who we aspire to be – separately and united.  I shall not limit you.  There is no condition that makes it ok for us to stay together.  I do not desire to cause you to be less in your expression of yourself.  Fuel the engine of your experience – the experience of who you really are and choose to be.  I support you to live authentically, to live your truth.  I not only love you in spite of what you imagine your faults to be, I love you because of them. 

 This….is my gift to you, my vow to you in our spiritual union.  I am all that there is, and all that there is not, and I share this freely…and openly…with you.

 

Christine