Where's my stuff?

We are meant to have points of focus and to have desires, but the purpose of the desire isn’t to have it torture you until you “achieve” it or have it in your grimy little hands, possessing it.  The purpose of the desire is to reach for the feeling and find the feeling place of what you imagine having or experiencing that thing will feel like, and feel it now, without having to wait for the manifestation of it in your experience.  That doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have what you want, all it means is that if you can find the feeling place of the thing you’re desiring…what would it feel like to have that new job, the landscaping completed, more money, easily paying the bills, a new car, a new wardrobe, , better employees, the solution to the problem you’ve been contemplating, a new barn for the horses, a bigger garage, a happy child, a peaceful environment, a clean environment, a bigger house, a partner in life, a better relationship, the yacht, the private jet, to be a certain weight, to run or walk a mile or ten, to travel, to have sunny skies, the ability to juggle monkeys in the air….doesn’t matter what your desire is; you get to decide what it is you want, whatever it is.  It’s just that you don’t have to hold out for the manifestation of it in your experience before you feel it fully in your experience.  When you have a desire and you feel the absence of it, you’re more focused on the absence of it in your experience than you are on actually having it.  That’s why things you want don’t come.  Pure desire is feeling no absence of that thing you wish to have or experience even though you’re not yet having or experiencing it.  You’re finding the feeling place of how you feel with it, and when you feel like that, you don’t feel the need to possess it or to have it.  You still want it, you still desire it, but you don’t feel the absence of it.  When you have a desire that sort of “tortures” you when you think about it and you yearn for it because all you can think of is that you just don’t have it yet and when will it finally come, you’re actually focused on the very opposite of having it.  You think you’re focused on your desire, but if you pay attention to how you’re feeling, and if you feel any angst, or yearning, or lack, or frustration, or anger, or despair, or disappointment, or impatience or doubt, you’re actually focused on the absence of it in your experience and feeling it as indicated by your emotions.  Many of us have been trained to desire with a touch of “need” in there somewhere.   So if you wanted something as a child, “just because”, often, that wasn’t “good enough” to get it.  You needed a “reason” to have it.  You had to justify why you wanted it by finding a good enough reason to convince someone that you deemed as the provider of that thing you wanted, to give it to you.  You might even have whined or cried to get it.  I still do sometimes, but it just doesn't work ;).  Well, the Universe doesn’t respond to need, (your parents may have and the people around you still may) it responds to your alignment with your desire.  What I mean by that is, it will respond to your feeling of lack, therefore if you feel lackful of that thing you want, the Universe responds to your emotional output, and there you are, experiencing the lack of that thing that you want and feel the lack of.  When you feel no absence of it at all, the Universe responds in like kind, and you become a match to your desire, and soon, you experience that thing that you wanted, only it’s not that big of a deal anymore because as excited as you were about having it, you didn’t feel the “pain” of not having it.  You've already found the feeling of having it, and then it came into your experience.  Sort of anti-climactic, but there it is.  So, the next time you find yourself wanting something you don’t yet have, just stop and feel what you’re feeling.  At first, yes, it’s likely (and normal) you’re going to feel the absence of it.  So feel how that feels.  And then ask yourself, “how is it that I think I would feel if I had that thing”?  And then you can ask yourself “why do I want it”…and not “why” to justify the reasons why you should have this thing, but rather, “why” directed toward how it feels…. “why”?....because it feels free, and it feels fun, and it feels interesting and fulfilling and exciting.  I feel like I’m on top of the world.  I feel as though I’m flying.  I feel really proud.  I feel really smart.  I feel like I’m being richly rewarded for being who I am”.  Do you see where I’m heading with this?  Just find how it feels and practice that when you find yourself wanting something in your experience, that you currently are (temporarily) without.  Make it about the feeling rather than the object you’ve identified that you want.  Make the feeling the manifestation you’re looking for, for now, rather than possessing or experiencing the thing.  Because when you can reach for and find (by feeling) the feeling, that’s the best of both worlds, because now the Universe can please and delight you all the way to actually having what you want, except you didn’t hold out for it before you felt the full manifestation of it by feeling it first.  Make the feeling the manifestation and discover how good you can feel even without having something you want.