What Are You Making it Mean?

What are you making it mean?  Sounds like a simple question doesn’t it, but we all tell our stories of who we think we are and who we think others are and how we think we are being treated by the world and those around us.  Do you believe your stories?  When someone says something to you, in a particular tone of voice, what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean you did something wrong?  Do you make it mean they’re an idiot?  Do you make it mean they’re in a bad mood?  Do you make it mean you’re responsible for how they feel?  When you get something you want, what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean that you’re worthy?  Do you make it mean you’re just lucky like that?  Do you make it mean that just this one time, things went your way?  Do you make it mean that this is just the way life goes for you?  When you are late getting somewhere, what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean that you’re always late?  Do you make it mean that you’re irresponsible?  Do you make it mean that it was due to uncontrollable circumstances?  Do you make it mean that it was someone else’s fault?  When you make a meal that others don’t enjoy, what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean that you’re not a good cook?  Do you make it mean that those who didn’t enjoy it are unappreciative?  When you don’t receive acknowledgment, or praise, or a birthday card, or a phone call or a gift on any given day or a special occasion, what do you make it mean?  Do you make it mean that people don’t care?  Do you make it mean that you’re not special enough?  Do you make it mean that people forgot about you? 

There are plenty of opportunities every day to make every experience mean something, and mostly, we do make it mean something.  We have our automatic “default” meanings and then we make some new meanings along the way, sometimes never checking to see if what we are making those events and experiences mean, are really to our benefit.  It may be true that this person is inconsiderate and it may be true that you’re always late, and it may be true that cooking is not your forte, but the way we interpret those events and experiences in our lives either enhances our quality of life, or diminishes it in some way.  If you believe all of the stories that you tell and all of the meanings that you attach to your experiences and if those meanings or stories don’t feel good when you tell them, you could always make a new decision to reformulate your stories and attach different meanings by making the way you feel be your guide to interpretation.  If the meaning you’re attaching to an event and the story you’re telling yourself or others about it doesn’t feel good, can you find a way to re-visit the situation and find a different and better-feeling interpretation?  Even if something continues to be as it always has been, can you stretch a little and find a meaning that feels even slightly better?  It’s the stories that you tell that continually re-create what you have already experienced, or, can pave the road to new and different experiences.  You have the ability to choose, if you want to, and you get to interpret any experience in any way you want to, and as a result, you have the ability to determine and choose whether you want to feel good, or whether you want to feel bad.  I invite you to take those endless opportunities in every day to start feeling your way to better-feeling stories and choosing meanings that uplift you and give others the benefit of the doubt rather than criticize yourself or others; not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to feel good…because you’re worth it.