The Ride Along the Way

I want a Porsche. A beautiful Porsche 911 Carrera 4S Cabriolet, with 19” Turbo wheels, Meteor Grey Metallic exterior, with Cocoa leather interior.  Cocoa stitching.  Speed yellow gauges.  Power seat package, Bose Digital Surround Sound with 13 speakers, guaranteed to move me.  Ceramic composite brakes.  Automatic Tiptronic S Transmission. All of the details designed to my specifications.  Any time I think about it, it’s pure bliss; I’m excited about it, I can see myself driving this car; I can feel the thrill of driving and owning this car; I can see myself peeking out into the garage every few minutes to just admire it; I can feel how proud I am of this little gem and even though I don’t own this car yet, it feels like a reality to me.  It feels as real to me as if I already own it.  Right now, I drive a 2011 Nissan Altima 3.5 SR, fully loaded, white exterior, tan leather interior.  Is it a Porsche?  No, but every time I get in that car I love it just as much as I love my Porsche.  I don’t feel the longing for the Porsche that I don’t have, I feel appreciation and thrill for the car that I do have.  And the “funny” thing about it is, I never planned on buying a Nissan Altima; as a matter of fact, it was likely the furthest thing from my radar.  I’d been mildly contemplating the idea of a new car for awhile, but hadn’t decided specifically on which one.  Meanwhile, every time I drove by our local Nissan dealer, I always admired their building and their display of vehicles and appreciated how they presented themselves.  When my husband got a rental car while his car needed repairs, he was handed the keys to a Nissan Sentra. The week before he was to return it, I decided to go for a ride with him.  What a nice car!  Although it wasn’t what I wanted, I liked enough things about it that I decided to stop by our local Nissan dealership to see what they had on their lot.  There really was nothing there of interest to me, but I did speak with a salesman, and told him I wasn’t in any hurry, but here’s what I was looking for, in general, and if something came in that he thought I may be interested in, to give me a call.  A few days later, I decided to look online to see what Nissan models they had, and decided that if I were to get a Nissan, I would get a 2011, 4 door Nissan Altima 3.5 SR, white exterior, tan leather interior, fully loaded, sun roof, etc.  But it really was just a passing thought.  I didn’t really think I’d be getting either that sort of car, or even buying a car at all in the near future.  I was driving my Subaru, which needed a lot of work, but I was completely appreciating my Subaru for getting me around and for providing us plenty of space for our little family and our dog, for all the storage space in the back, for the comfort and the ease of driving it, for how well it handled, for the tinted windows and the heated seats and so much more.  It wasn’t a “let me sit down and appreciate this car” kind of thing, it was just that I was happy to have it, and enjoyed so many aspects of it.  Weeks went by without me really thinking about a new car, although I felt one was coming, but it didn’t matter to me, one way or another.  Then, my parents said they’d be stopping by the week after Easter while they were on their way back to Canada from Florida.  As we were visiting Friday night, my father had driven by the Nissan dealership on his way to the Casino and commented how nice it was.  I mentioned that I’d been there looking at cars and had already spoken to a salesman.  So then I suggested we go the next day to look and see what they had.  I figured it would be something for us to do together, just take a look, and it would be fun to include him in something I was considering.  So off we went to the dealership in the morning and while we were there, we must have taken at least 4 vehicles out for a test drive. We had so much fun together and it was fun having my dad in on it.  We told our sales guy we weren’t buying that day, and I had even told my dad that morning that I wouldn’t be buying anything, but why not go just for fun.  So as the day progressed, the last car I took out, I decided to ask about what type of pricing etc would be available.  I let dad do most of the talking because he’s what one would call a “wheeler and dealer”.  He’s been a salesman all his life and he likes to deal and he likes to talk and he likes to have fun and he always wants the best deal, and expects it.  So, I let him do the talking.  And what a joy it was to see him in his element, and by the end of the day, he had the manager of the dealership asking my father for his address so he could come fishing in Canada.  Anyway, we left, without buying a car, but what fun we’d had.  Then, just as we were making our last turn to get home, I remembered the manager mentioning in passing that this lady had just traded in a new 2011 Nissan fully-loaded Altima, because there were too many “bells and whistles” on it.  So I turned to my dad and said, “you know, we really should’ve taken that car out for a drive before we left…just for kicks”.   My father looked at me with this devilish smile and said, “let’s go back!”.  So, we turned around and went back and when we walked in to the dealership, I think they thought we’d come to buy the other vehicle that we’d gotten a price for.  When the manager had mentioned the 2011 Altima in passing, I didn’t think much about it because we had taken some base model Altimas out for a drive earlier that day and they weren’t a “hell yes” for me.  The nice thing about all of these test drives was that the salesman had actually let my father and I go off on our own without coming with us.  So off we went for another test drive, and as I was rounding a corner, my father looked at me and said, “you like this car, don’t you?”  I didn’t realize it, but I had this huge grin on my face, and when I think back, when I sat in it, I just felt it all “click”.  This felt like the right car for me, right now.  And so, much to their surprise, we walked in, and my father did the talking once again.  This car was quite a find….a 2011 with only 2000 miles, fully-loaded.  And, the EXACT car that I had decided I wanted…. “if” I was to buy one.  I still left the dealership without buying it, but I did return a few days later to seal the deal.  So now, every time I get in that car, it brings back sweet memories of my father and I doing something together, having fun, seeing him in his element.  I didn’t get the Porsche, but it doesn’t matter because I am as thrilled about having this car as I would be if I’d gotten the Porsche.  And the ease of it all coming about…I didn’t “plan” any of it.  I knew what I wanted, and had “criteria” about the specifics, but I wasn’t hung up on it, nor did I need it to unfold in any particular way, in any particular time frame.  It just all worked out in a way that was even more perfect than I could have imagined.  As a matter of fact, I would have never imagined this particular scenario, but it couldn’t have unfolded in a more perfect way.  I’m sharing this story because of the perfection with which things can unfold when you just let go.  There was a time when I wanted that Porsche really badly, and I didn’t get it and I was disappointed that “things weren’t working out for me”.  But all along, they really were, and they always are.  I haven’t let go of my desire for my Porsche, but it doesn’t matter to me that I don’t have it.  This car that I have is just as good and as satisfying to me as if I were driving my Porsche right now.  And I felt like I was driving my Porsche when I was driving my Subaru.  And when the Porsche comes, it will be sweet, and satisfying, and thrilling and fun, but I’m not going to deprive myself of feeling the sweetness and satisfaction and thrill that I think the Porsche will give me until I actually have the keys to it.  I can, and I do, feel that now.  There is so much to enjoy on my way to my Porsche, that I don’t have to have it right now.  The ride along the way can continually unfold in ways that surprise and delight and thrill me and I can revel in the perfection of it all.