You could be doing the same thing....

Do you ever find yourself criticizing or faulting someone for the very same thing that you do, except maybe you do it in a different way?  A bunch of us were gathered around the other day and some were having a conversation about how different one of the family members was from the rest of the family.  The complaints were that she is too regimented and always has to follow a schedule and everything has to go according to plan.  They feel she is too uptight and too organized and that she doesn’t relax much.  The person that was being discussed was being made out to be different than they are and on some level wrong for being that way and considered an “outsider”.   What they were failing to see was that they offer the same characteristics, only through a different avenue.   They are every bit as organized and “uptight” as she is.  They want a plan and want to follow it through when it comes to eating a particular diet, going for a run, or doing an exercise routine.  They scrutinize everything they eat, and they have to run or cycle a certain amount of kilometers and they have to do it every day or else they’re off their plan.  So they too are very organized, regimented and like things to go according to plan.  It’s just that it’s their way, and so they fail to see that what they are criticizing their family member for, they too are “guilty” of.  She could just as easily and “rightfully” express the same things about them as they are about her.  Either way, it’s the same end of the stick and it’s the same behavior, just outwardly expressed in a different way.  It’s like somebody making a comment about the quality of workmanship going downhill, while not being willing to pay for higher quality workmanship.  Or saying someone is “cheap” because they won’t spend their money on what you would spend your money on; or frivolous because they’ll go out and spend hundreds or thousands of dollars that you would not spend a dime on.  Once again, you’re doing the same thing and you too could be considered or “labeled” either cheap or frivolous, the only difference being that you offer it through a different avenue.  Something I’ve said is, “I don’t know how they drink so much”, referencing someone who drinks what I consider to be a lot of alcohol, but the same thing could easily be said about me and how much water I drink.  We’re both drinking a lot, it’s just that my drink of choice is water, theirs is alcohol.  There’s no right or wrong, we’re both drinking “a lot”.  Or, I’ve heard myself say, “why does he leave that laying around on the floor”, meanwhile I leave things in different places, but I reason in my mind that I’m leaving them there temporarily and I know I intend on cleaning it up, or picking it up.    I often find that if I’m choosing to criticize someone or make them wrong for being a particular way, I can find a way in which I’m offering the same quality that I’m criticizing them for, in some area of my life.  And when I do that, I discover a whole new perspective of that person or situation and a different level of understanding about myself in the process.